idk

Happy

You have to be happy. If you're happy you will think about the good things and never worry about the bad. If only you were happy things would come great.

Why would you need to be sad you have so many great things to think about. Be rational Sam I tell myself, you aren't being rational. I say why are you focusing on the bad. It only seems terrible cause you're focusing on the bad.

You have great friends. You aren't living in poverty you're actually closer to upper-middle-class, that's lucky, wonder how many kids wish they could have that instead they are living on Mom's low paycheck because her boss is an ass and but does she complain? NO! Why because she isn't a teenage girl complaining about the drama in her privileged, small-town life. Get over yourself for once and notice the rest of us, I tell myself.

Why don't you just stop and enjoy the happiness in your life I say.

C'mon be happy. It's good you're fine. Your depression will fade it just a teenage thing. Anxiety won't be a bother once you realize you're good enough. Don't worry that you're fearful of being left alone it's okay your friends will reassure you, they're good about that, they won't leave. Your loved ones won't die in the time your worrying why are you panicking. You don't have to. Come on Sam get it together. Quit being a crybaby.

I know this won't work. Because it doesn't fix my parents. I won't stop being depressed and anxious. There is no magic pill. I'm always going to be scared.

But,

I just want you to be happy...

So I'll hide my pain.

Put on a brave face, I'll laugh and giggle, I will try to be who you want me to be.

For you because I love you

Maybe I will believe it eventually.... for me this time.

I will try...