Wishful Thinking

Three

"Get up! It's already late." 

It's been three days since Joey left. I haven't felt like moving during the period of his absence. Juls has been trying to get me moving and eating more with little success, I barely heard what she said and dug my face further into the pillow trying to block out the world. 

"Mills, time to get proactive. Not depressed. Joey wouldn't want you to mope." I felt another poke. Juls has been poking for the past half hour and each poke tempted me to break her finger, but I had restraint. 

I lifted my head to look at her, "I'm not moping, I'm tired so go away!" I slumped my head back into the pillow. I hear her huff of frustration,

"Fine, have it your way." I hear her retreating steps. Finally some peace. I savoured the moment of isolation until I felt a strong pull causing me to faceplant onto the wooden floors. "You ready now?" I hear a smile in her voice. 

"Bitch" I muttered to the floorboards. She must have heard me because I felt a slap on my ass. I let out a small yelp before flipping over to face her. My eyes widen from the object on her hands, "Is that my belt?" 

"Convenient isn't it, should have thought of using it earlier," she folds it and places it on the desk and tosses me a muesli bar from her pocket.

"A little kinky, don't you think?" I opened the muesli packet and took a bite. It was a little chewy and dry. Juls rolled her eyes and plopped down on the desk chair.

"Only you would think that," she says before turning to face her pile of work. Homework was always a priority for her. School doesn't start till next week and she was already determined to finish the holiday homework given to us by cruel heartless teachers. 

"Wouldn't think of anything else," I say finishing the muesli bar. I finally decided to get changed.   Juls was right, I needed to get moving. When I got up, I heard every bone on my body crack from the lack of exercise, It made me cringe. I pulled out black jeans and a grey top from my wardrobe, Matches my mood I thought and slid them on.

  "I'm going out," I called over my shoulder, I hear her grunt of approval and walked out of the room closing the door behind me.  

  ★

I didn't bother asking for permission to go outside. I didn't care if Ms Davis yells at me. One time, I went out to buy some snacks at the corner store - we had access to plenty of food in the pantry but all the good junk ran out - and when I returned with my haul, the red-faced she-monster was waiting for me and confiscated my goods. I discovered soon after that one of the other kids ratted me out. To this day, I still have no clue who the kid is, but when I find out who, all hell will break loose. 

I strolled around the suburbs. This is what I needed, a nice long walk outside. Since Joey was too young to have a phone, I couldn't contact him. Ms Davis wouldn't even give me the couples home address saying it was illegal to show such information. I scoffed, Illegal my ass . . . The thought of no communication twisted my heart. I kept walking down the uneven street, paying no attention to my surroundings, getting lost in thought.

A blackbird swooped down low which made me duck and wrap my arms around over my head protecting my face, fearing that it would peck or claw me, even worse, shit on me. "Stupid bird" I muttered and straightened up when it was gone but kept my head down staring at my shoes as I walked.

"Oww!" my head flung back as I felt my head collide with something hard, I mumbled an apology before realising that I bumped into a street lamp. My cheeks felt warm with embarrassment as I turned in a circle to see if anyone saw. Unfortunately, two teenage girls that appear younger than me were walking the opposite side and saw my embarrassing interaction. I hear a crow cackle in the distance like it was laughing at me, maybe it was laughing at me. I get it, Karma's a bitch. I kept my head down and rubbed my forehead, great . . . just great . . . I continued to walk down the street. A few minutes later I bumped my shoulder on another hard object but I kept walking afraid that I'll apologise to another pole.