The Lost Soldier [Armin x Jean]

Part 4

The next couple days went by slowly. After Jean and I became a thing, he was pretty much silent. During the days he would just sit and read, or pace the room. The only time he would really talk was when people came in to check on me, or the doctor came in and said how to treat the wound so it doesn't get infected. Every once in a while he would change out the bandage around what used to be my leg, and would ask if it hurt at all. But other then that, nothing.

It was night time that I realized I had to say something, the silence was killing me faster than my leg wound was.

"Jean," I called out to him. He was laying on the couch with his back to me, making it hard to see if he was awake or asleep. Something told me he was faking it.

"Jean, are you awake?"

He groaned a little and rolled over to face me. "You should be asleep."

"Why haven't you been talking to me recently? We became a thing, right?"

He laid there quietly then sighed, "I don't know. Just try to get some sleep. Tomorrow the doctor said you can try crutches."

That's right, I forgot all about that. I wasn't going to let this moment go to waste though, I got him talking to me. "I can't sleep. Maybe it's the anxiety sinking in." Not like that was a total lie.

Jean looked at me then stood up, walking over. I expected him to sit in the chair, but he surprised me by pushing me over a little and crawling into bed next to me. "I'll lay here for a little."

"O-oh, okay!" I could feel my face burning up, I've never been so thankful for the dull candle light. "You can take your jacket off you know."

"It gets cold at night."

I laughed a little and grabbed a spare blanket, putting it over him. "I got you covered, in more ways than one."

He hesitated then mumbled something, sitting up to take his jacket off. He tossed it onto the couch and laid back down beside me, getting underneath the blanket I was under, then tossing the spare over both of us. "You're really something different."

"Is that good or bad?"

"In this case it's good."

"That's good," I replied and moved slightly so I was basically hugging him. I placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart beating. Sometimes that's all you can ask for. I felt Jean move his arm so it was wrapped around my shoulder, letting me use it as a head rest.

"Jean, what if someone sees us?"

"Then they see us. It's not like no one expected this to happen."

"What do you mean by that?" I looked up and caught a glimpse of his face in the candle light. I don't know if it was the angle or the light, but he looked amazing right now.

"It's not like the others haven't seen how we looked at each other during missions, making sure the other was safe. Eren and Mikasa have been breathing on my neck about it for a while now. And when Christa saved us that one time, it's not like she didn't see how I was looking at you," he mumbled with his eyes closed. I felt my face burning red again.

"How did you look at me?"

"I was worried about you, and how you were holding up. You hit your head extremely hard, I was surprised you weren't knocked out. If it wasn't for Reiner and the spare bandages, I don't know what would've happened."

"We might not have been in that situation in the first place if he wasn't there," I said quietly. I could hear Jean breathing in the silent night then closed my eyes, putting my head on his chest. "Why did you save me? From the titan? You knew you put your life at risk doing that."

"Risking my life for your protection was worth it. I just wish I came sooner, maybe then you'd have two legs."

"You all make it sound like I'm dead. I can still move around, and after I get crutches I can still fight. Maybe not on the front lines, but with maps and strategies. That's still helpful, right?"

"Yeah, that's true. But still, we lost a good soldier on the front lines."

"It's not like I really did that much up close. I still haven't killed a titan yet."

"But you've assisted in many of the strategies to kill them, that counts." He reached a hand down and gently tucked a bit of hair behind my ear. "I'm not saying you should, but have you ever thought about cutting your hair?"

"My hair? No, not really. I like it like this, it doesn't seem to get in the way. Every once and a while I have to tie it up though."

"Will I ever get to see how that looks?"

"Maybe, if you stick around long enough," I laughed and gently rubbed my cheek against his chest. Jean gently ran his hands through my hair.

"I think it looks good like this, but I have the feeling you'd look good with any hairstyle though. Long or short, or that bob you're rocking."

"Thank you, Jean, that means a lot." I looked up at him when I realized his hand stopped moving, only to see he fell asleep. His hand was still in my hair, but that didn't bother me at all. I closed my eyes and kept my head rested against his chest, listening to his deep breathing. I could sense that the candle was running low and smiled gently. It was a nice night, calm, quiet, and warm. Slowly, I fell asleep on Jean, listening to his heartbeat and breathing all the way until I dreamt. Even then, I was relaxing with him.