Crash

9

"Francis, leave me alone you wanker!" Arthur demanded.

"Non." Francis stated blatantly.

"Fuck off, frog."

"Non."

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Non."

"Jesus, why are you so persistent?"

Francis giggled, "Because you're so cute!"

Arthur snorted.

"I'm serious mon ami. Even with those eyebrows." Francis said with a wink.

"What's wrong with my eyebrows?" Arthur asked.

"They're huge! The take up a third of your face!" Francis exclaimed.

"That can't be everything wrong with me...." Arthur started.

"Oh, wait until I get going! You dress so bland, your hair is a mess and your cooking is, ugh, what the word?"

"Delicious? Scrumptious?" Arthur offered.

"Revolting." Francis said triumphantly.

"Ok, that's it, prepare to die, frog!" Arthur shouted as he lunged at Francis.

"Ha! You are no match for me, black sheep!" Francis yelled.

"I'll kill you, you wanker!" Arthur shouted.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!" Francis retorted.

"Stop quoting Monty Python, they're British!"

"Go away or I will taunt you a second time!" Francis taunted.

"Guys, chill!" Gilbert demanded as he pulled them away from each other.

"Leave me alone, you frog!" Arthur yelled as he walked away,

"Bye bye, black sheep!" Francis shouted back.

"Francis! What has gotten into you?" Gilbert asked.

"Sorry, Gil, that guy just gets on my nerves."

"Francis, you're always the one who approaches him, and you always act so flirtatious around him, even the way you insult him is like flirting!" Gil snorted.

"I-uh, fuck." Francis admitted, defeated.

"I knew it. Just tell him how you feel."

Francis guffawed, "Yeah, and you can tell Lizzie how you feel."

Gil turned red, "I, no way, uh, she my, it's not like, uh, she's engaged, uh-"

"Mon ami, we all know that you're crazy for her. Just tell her how you feel, and she'll dump that loser for sure! I mean, you said it yourself! He's probably gay..."

"I can't tell her. She loves Roderich. No matter how badly he treats her, she's loyal beyond belief, which is one of the qualities I love about her." Gil said sadly.

"Love?" Francis teased.

"That's not what I meant so say..." Gil said as he turned redder.

"It's ok; I get it, she's your best friend and you respect her decisions. But seriously, if you love her, don't let her go. She needs you." Francis advised.

"Sure, whatever." Gil mumbled.

"I'll go find Antonio, and you go find Eliza. Tell her how you feel before it's too late." Francis said as he walked away.