MY LIFE

Breaking

Tonight is the night this is the night where I stay up and think about what was then and what is now this is the moment where I breakaway and contemplate whether I should stay or move on, times like tonight are one of the hardest nights because not only am I alone to myself I'm alone to my thoughts it's like a test to see whether or not I am worthy to see if I'm capable to move on, to prove to myself that I am strong enough to not only deal with such pain but to move on with greater happiness.  This year was the hardest year to which I was close to relapsing at least twice this year part of me feels as if I'm not strong but then it's probably just the voices talking trying to talk me down and make me feel horrible about myself  once more, for the past week I've been thinking it's time to grow up and I'm only 17 and I've come to realization that growing up is hard, really hard, and not only is it hard it's also really fast, so fast it feels as if I'm getting spit up and thrown into the world, personally I don't think I'm ready I don't know much I fight is still much do I just don't know but I need to learn soon eventually but right now that's hard for me right now I'm dreaming violent, I feel like I'm split as if I am bipolar tonight I was really happy here I am now typing feeling sad wishing that this night never ended or wishing I never grew up in the first place.