Healing Hearts ✅

36. Calls

Weeks drag. Not being able to even talk to Lucas was beginning to take it's toll on me, not to mention the two acceptance letters I have hiding under my bed that I was refusing to tell anyone about.

When I applied to those schools I had already had my mind made up, as much as I loved New York it just didn't feel like home anymore. Texas is where my heart is which is why I applied to UT but now I'm beginning to think that it may be too painful to stay here. I don't think I could spend another four years avoiding Lucas every single time I came home to visit.

I get home from school on Wednesday night, expecting Lucas to still be working but just like the day before he's already gone. I ignore the pain in my heart as I walk up the steps and head into the house where my parents are sitting at the counter talking. It seems as though they don't notice me so I lean against the wall to listen. "Do you think he keeps calling in because of Riley?" my dad asks and my mom shrugs.

"Maybe. I mean, honey they're in love and for some reason this job is more important to that boy and it's your ultimatum that's keeping them apart."

"I never thought he'd choose the job" my dad confesses softly. "I didn't even really think he'd consider giving up Riley" he adds and I bite my lip. Lucas didn't consider giving me up...I made him give me up.

"But he did" my mom reminds him. "And now we have a heartbroken daughter and a ranch hand that never comes into work" she adds in annoyance. "We have to do something Cor."

"What can we do?" he asks. "I still don't feel comfortable paying him if he's going to be sneaking off while on the clock and doing unspeakable things with our little girl."

We didn't sneak off. That much.

"Well-."

"Hey guys" I exclaim, announcing my presence before they get too far into the analyzation of my relationship with Lucas.

"Hi princess" my dad replies, offering me a tight-lipped smile. He felt sk incredibly guilty and while he should since it was his ultimatum, no one should feel worse than me.

"Hi dad" I smile, walking over to him and giving him a quick hug. "What are we talking about?" I ask innocently, acting as if I hadn't been listening the entire time.

"Well" my mom begins, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. "Lucas has called in for the rest of the week" she explains making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. He couldn't really be that upset over our break-up...could he?

"Did he say why?" I ask but my mom shakea her head.

"He didn't" she replies softly. "I'm sorry princess."

I shake my head. "It's okay. I'm okay. I just hope everything is okay" I add as the knowledge of his mother's deteriorating health plagues my mind. "I'm gonna um go upstairs" I add, turning on my heels and heading up the steps.

I close my bedroom door and toss my bag down on the floor before collapsing onto my bed and dialing Maya's number. She picks up on the first ring. "If this is about Luke I can't help you. He's been ignoring me all day."

I sigh, running mg fingers through my hair. "So it's not about me" I figure. "But that means-."

"I don't know" she replies in frustration. "He literally won't talk to me."

"What can I do Maya?" I ask desperately. She sighs.

"Honey there isn't much you can do. Reach out to him, let him know you're there even if it's only as a friend and just, let him know you're thinking about him" she suggests and I nod. That idea sounded easy enough and it would maybe relieve my craving to hear his voice.

"Thanks Peaches" I murmur softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"No one would survive" she teases making me chuckle before we exchange goodbyes and hang up the phone.

~ 💟 ~

Trying to think of something to say to your ex-boyfriend who you're still madly in love with and trying to comfort is exhausting. I didn't have any clue as to what to say to him but I knew I needed to talk to him.

I take a deep breath and dial his number before lifting my phone to my ear and taking a seat on my bay window. It rings five times and I'm sure he's going to let it go to voicemail when suddenly his voice comes through the phone. "Hey Riles" he answers softly.

"Hey" I reply awkwardly, bringing my lip between my teeth. "H-how are you?" I ask worriedly.

"I've been better" he confesses. "But you called me so what's going on?" he asks and I sigh.

"I'm worried about you. You called in today" I add softly. "And then you told my parents you'd be gone for the next few days. The selfish part of me thought it was about me but it's not" I murmur. "Luke, is your mom okay?"

"Okay isn't exactly a word I'd use" he replies. "She's hanging in there but this isn't really a conversation I want to have over the phone."

"Oh okay" I reply softly. "Well, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to-."

"What are you doing for Valentine's Day?" he asks causing my eyes to widen. He wasn't asking me out on a date was he?

"Um nothing. My parents are probably going out for dinner, why?" I ask confusedly.

He sighs. "Because even if we can't be together I miss the girl I could tell everything to. And I need to talk to someone. I'll come over next week and I'll tell you everything, okay?"

This was dangerous. I knew meeting up with Lucas, even platonically, would end up badly because if there was one thing I knew it was that we couldn't stay away from each other no matter how hard we may try.

"Okay" I agree. "There's something I really wanna talk to you about too" I add as I glance at the acceptance letters under my bed.

"Great. I'll see you next week Riles."

"See you then" I agree softly before we hang up.

"This is such a bad idea" my brain scolds but I can't help but be excited. I was going to see Lucas again...alone.