Untold Sorrow

Suspended Marriage

Slowly Jennifer raised her eyes from the glass in her hand and stared at him. 'Married!' She exclaimed. 'You must be joking! How can we get married'?

'Simple', he said. 'We get a license and just do it'.

'That isn't what I meant!' She snapped.

'I know what you meant'. He drained his glass and set it down on the coffee table.

Jennifer's head was reeling, she was having trouble breathing. Married! What was he thinking of? A nasty little item in the gossip column was one thing, a lifetime commitment to a man she didn't love, who didn't love her, quite another.

She finally collected herself enough to speak calmly. 'Isn't that a little extreme'? She asked with a wry smile. 'Wouldn't it be simpler to just call off the whole arrangement'?

He turned then to face her, 'is that what you want, Jennifer? Do you want to go back to dealing with your sister's interference? Fending off passes'?

'Well, no', she said weakly, 'but I don't want. ..' She reddened, unable to go on.

'Before you make up your mind', he broke in, 'perhaps I'd better explain more clearly what I have in mind'.

'Please, do', she murmured. She had the uneasy feeling that she was being drawn into a situation

That was way over her head. She looked at Matthew, He seemed to be deep in thought. she knew by now the way his mind worked. He was never impulsive, never acted thoughtlessly. He wouldn't speak now unless he had it all worked out in his mind just what he wanted to say.

As she waited, she began to wonder what it would be like to be married to this tall, remote man. What would he expect of her? Did she want to give up her freedom on any terms?

'What I have in mind', he said at last, 'is really just an extension of our original arrangement. from my point of view, it worked beautifully until this came along'. He nodded towards the offending newspaper, still lying on the coffee table 'Do you agree'?

'Yes, I do', it was the truth. she really had enjoyed Being with him and appreciated the security, the protection. 'But...'

He held up a hand. 'Let me finish. I want you to understand how I feel before you make up your mind. I don't see any remote possibility of falling in love again. I've already told you that. But I do need a wife in my position'. He frowned. 'That sounds so cold-blooded, and I don't mean it that way. I've come to be very fond of you, Jennifer', he went on, the grey eyes softer now. 'I like being with you. We enjoy doing the same things, have the same way of looking at life. Our backgrounds are similar. If my understanding is correct, you're no more interested in a grand passion than I am'. He paused, his eyes asking a question.

'No', she said promptly, 'I'm not. There was one thing he hadn't mentioned, one thing she had to understand before she could even begin to make a decision on his strange proposal. She took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes. 'What would you expect from me'? His dark eyebrows shot up. For once she had caught him off guard, and she felt a strange surge of satisfaction flow through her. He was too calm and collected. it pleased her to see him even slightly ruffled.

'Nothing physical, of course', he replied stiffly. 'I assumed that was understood'.

She leaned back on the couch, enjoying his discomfiture. 'Won't you find that difficult at such close quarters'? She asked in a slightly mocking tone. 'Or do you plan on having affairs'?

A dark flush spread over his features. She could tell she had made him angry, and it exhilarated her to see that she could stir some emotion in him. Maybe he'd call the whole thing off. She didn't care.