This is a collection of my personal ratings for Pokemon pairings across any platform. Please, request a ship you want to see next...and, dab/dab again for Pokemon...okay...I'm gonna stop the typing the description right about no-
I absolutely hate everything about this ship. I don't understand why this could ever even exist or be good in any shape, way, or form.
Rating: 0/20, and there is no fanart on them to post here.
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Because I don't want this to be so short...I'll fulfill my promise and teach all you boys the ways of the wamen! *clears throat*
So...as you all already know, my lovely mate, Mew, and I, have been going strong for years now! And, Ahaha, not all of you will have the dashing charm, jaw-dropping strength and massive intellect that I myself posses...but, it's not necessarily impossible to attract the females for you measly males!
So...I've boiled it down to three, simple rules that are guarenteed to help you boys out there! (Hehe...this is TOTALLY not just a rant or anything)
1. Girls are always right!
This one can't be any more true/important. I mean...woman are crazy creatures, and they're capable of...so many things! So, as long as you listen to them, you're life will be a LOT easier.
For an example of this...Mew once told me to put brownies in the oven for twenty minutes. I stupidly doubted her...and put it in for twenty five. Uh...well...referring back to rule number 1 to keep things simple, girls are always right (and if you don't believe what they say, your house will nearly burn down).
2. Don't compliment a female...that's awkward!
Okay...so, basically, I sort of lied with this. You can always compliment somebody...but not in a random situation or with the set goal of trying to flatter them. I mean, some girls love getting compliments and it makes them feel happy and self-confident in themselves...however, boys manage to deviate this nice deed and turn it into a nasty, hormonal thing. For example...
Mew's the cutest little bundle of joy that has ever walked this Earth. You see...it'd be weird for me, especially before we became mates, to randomly go up and compliment her over and over...and it's sort of make me seem like I'm just some kind of massive prick who's trying to "make her mine". That phrase alone..."make her mine" is something that only snobs should ever believe. If you're a male and you go brag to your friends about "Look at my girlfriend" or anything along those lines, then you just need to stop. You should like somebody for themselves, and instead of calling them "your girlfriend" or something, just only talk about her to her face for the most part. It's just...so what you guys are dating? You shouldn't crave other people to care about that except for the two of you.
3. R e s p e c k m u c h
A lot of the stuff in rule 2 applies here. You're significant one is not called "babe" or "sweetheart", but she's what she wants to be called and vice versa. For example...
Mew and I were laying in bed about to go to sleep, and randomly she asked if she could call me "honey". Now, let's get something straight...Mew and I had already been mates for a long while, and unlike you humans, we don't go to school and deal with other pestery humans who bring up that drama related stuff.
And I, the charming Mewtwo who was lying next to the most beautiful Pokemon known to all of the world, happily obliged to such a question, and we then went on to call each other "dear" and "honey", what we each wanted to be called. I think that males in general want to act possessive and defensive over their crushes as some type of weird hormone...and it's just gross. Don't call females "babe" just because you're their boyfriend...it's just so disrespectful!!!
Welp...that's all for "Mewtwo's tips on how to get a girlfriend!". If you learned anything, then that's terrific...and you can go try this out for yourself and see how far it gets you! I guess this turned into more of a rant than anything...oh well! Thanks for reading humans!
