Attack of the Bambinos - Bars and Melody

Chapter One

Charlie's P.O.V

I turned on my phone only to be bombarded with the following message:

245 direct messages from xxx_bambino_xxx

I sighed and opened the instagram app. Clicking on the messages, I noticed they were all from a girl I had met the previous week, who had declared her undying love for me.

So I decided to reply with a simple yet straight forward message:

Please leave me alone..

She replied instantly with someting along the lines of ' OMG YOU ARE ACTUALLY TALKING TO ME CHARLIE OMG LUV YOU AND LEO SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH LOVE LOVE YOU OMG OMG I LOVE YOU! YOU REPLIED OMG LOL! '

I went down stairs to show Leo, who was sat on the sofa looking similarly alarmed.

"Charlie," he said, standing up. "There is a stalker by the name of xxx_bambino_xxx sending me stalker-ish messages!"

''I know she is doing the same to me!'' I replied

''What are we gonna do about this psychopath" Leo questioned, looking alarmed.

''We should tell Blair he'll know what to do..." I suggested. "Hopefully."

"Just be hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for our lives," Leo sang.

I gave him a look that clearly said 'just no, Leo.'

He grinned and whacked me with a cushion, before picking up his phone and calling Blair.

"Hello. We have a stalker," Leo told him.

"It's not funny, Leo," I grumbled. "Give me the stupid phone."

I snatched the phone from his hand and put it up to my ear.

"Hi, Blair. No, just ignore Leo. Actually, he's right," I confessed. The boy in question was jumping on the sofa looking very smug. I frowned deeply at him.

I hung up and gave Leo his phone back.

''What did he say''

''He said that you are the most annoying human being in existence."

"Shut up. What did he really say?"

"We need to delete our accounts and recreate them in a week."

Leo shrugged. "We could've just blocked her. Now I can't communicate with my cyber-girlfriend."

"That's not funny. It isn't." I glared at him.

"Oh, but it is," Leo replied, throwing another pillow at me.

"It isn't. You are such a tw...it." I told him.

"Vowel issues there, Mate?" He replied.

"Mate sounds really gay. Do you know what mates in the animal kingdom do?"

"Be stupid."

"Sloths are stupid. Some sloths are so stupid they mistake their own arms for branches and plummet to their deaths," I informed him.

"No-one cares about stupid old slothy sloths."

"I do."

Leo gave up talking and threw another pillow at me. "You and your stupid slothy facts." He yelled.

My mum came in. "What is going on in here?"

"Leo said sloths are stupid," I grumbled.

"They are. Did you know that some sloths are so stupid they mistake their own arms for branches?" My mum replied.

I groaned and hid under the pillow that Leo had just lobbed at me.

He picked up his phone and started filming.

"And here we have a wild Charlie, in his natural habitat," Leo said quietly.