Black heart

Hell and Heaven

The shrill buzz of my phone woke me, the ringtone blaring from wherever I'd placed it the night before which evidentially seemed to be near my head, I groaned closing my eyes tightly.
Patting around my pillows I managed to locate the sound,
"Hello?" I answered groggily rubbing the sleep from my eyes,

"Darling, is that you?" My mother's high pitch voice answered out.

I sighed internally,
"Yes you called me, so naturally it would be"

"Do you always have to be so.." she breathed out, looking for the word.
I sat up, stretching my muscles out. Already feeling this was about to be a conversation from hell.

"Be so what?..My fathers daughter?" I questioned back bitterly, I knew part of her resented the fact I had more of his traits than hers.
"No, Lori, that wasn't what I was going to say" she sighed deeply, taking a deep breath that I could hear over the phone

"Well how is Ireland and Grammy and Pa?" The subject needed changing and honestly I wanted the conversation to wrap up quick. I hated talking to her, I hated thinking about the fact we weren't one family unit. That I was going to be in six short weeks back with my mother and steve. I hated it.

"They're well. Looking forward to seeing you for Boxing Day. But they are asking what you want to do for your birthday, it's the big 1-8. I'm assuming you'll be coming over to ire-"

I listened to her drone on. How was I to tell her I had no intentions of ever being in Europe again as soon as I hit 18? That I hated the atmosphere, I hated Steve's parents and honestly, I hated my mom. I felt like I was in Hell there.

"Lori? You still there darling?"

"Yeah sorry mom. I'm not sure yet, I don't know if I want to do anything don't plan yet please. I've got to go now I'm having breakfast with friends. Bye."

I hung up before she could question further. Looking at my phones time, it was only 6 in the morning meaning it was 11am in Ireland. I wish she'd count the hours.

Dragging myself out the bed, I noticed someone had moved my laptop off the bed. I wasn't ungrateful for that. I decided to shower then grab breakfast.
Maybe I'd even be early enough to get it with Tati or my dad.

After I showered and dried my hair. I stood
Infront of the mirror and stared at myself naked.
My body wasn't perfect.
My stomach has some bloating to it so it wasn't flat.
My hips were large giving me the almost pear shape, if it wasn't for the dip in my waist and the boobs that I felt were too large and not perky enough. Man I couldn't wait to get a reduction. Without it though I felt like I'd look like a blob.

My face was rounder. My bottom row of teeth were slightly crooked and my top front tooth had a very small chip in it from when me and Kyle tried skateboarding.

My nose, lips and eyes were redeeming slightly with a button shape, full with a Cupid's bow and eyes that were green but had specs of blue and brown closer to the iris.

My hair hung a dark brown, straight. Long. It had always been long. My mother's side insisting I wouldn't be feminine enough without long hair.

Small freckles dotted my cheeks, shoulders, arms and I was pale. That was one thing my Irish genes had given me.

I got dressed quick into a pair of high waisted black jeans and a white crop top. I had given myself a winged eyeliner and generous full set of false eyelashes. Some bronzer, highlight and lipgloss and I finally felt like me.