The Childhood Friend || Kim Namjoon ✔️

Chapter 23: Changed Minds

I woke up with cold sweats running down my arms. Everytime I close my eyes, I see one of two things. My fantasy of a dream and my reality of a nightmare. Both making me feel as if I'm broken and nothing.

I look over to my left and see my friend in analyn's bed, sleeping peacefully. She has been staying here for 2 nights now, not feeling comfortable leaving me alone. I'm glad to have her as I just lost namjoon again.

I hug my knees to my chest and rest my chin on top of them, sighing. Why must I love him? Why can't I just see him as he see's me? Why must I make things so complicated?

I trace patterns on the soft fabric of the bed. I'm just a burden aren't I? My friend hasn't left my side for 3 days, practically babysitting me. I put the members in between namjoon and I's problems, causing them grief. Then there's namjoon. What I have done to him is so unbearably horrible. I ruined our friendship not once but twice.

Tears fall down my face, onto the fabric I had been caressing softly. I laugh at myself, containing the loud erotic noise from leaving my throat.

I'm so stupid, thinking this wasn't going to happen. Of course it was, life isn't like the movies or books. There's no happy endings.

There are for some people although. I lift my gaze to my friend sleeping soundly and peacefully. She'll get hers, I know she will. Maybe not everyone does but she's one of those very few that do.

Namjoon's P.O.V.

"What do we do? He hasn't left his room. And if he does, it's to go practice. He doesn't even practice with us anymore." i hear the conversation from outside the hallway. Isolating myself was never the ideal plan. It started of as to think until it slowly became more than thinking, it became feeling.

"There's really nothing we can do. We've tried all that we can." yoongi explains sighing loudly. I feel bad for worrying them but what must I do? I'm too developed in my thoughts and feelings, I'm not even in control anymore.

"We can't just let this go. He's hurting yoongi. Don't you understand? We can't just let him rot away in his room." jungkook expresses worriedly.

"Guys y/n isn't answering. Do you think she's okay?" Jimin expresses concern for my Bestfriend, the person who has me feeling the way I am.

"Jin, care to tell them what you told me?" yoongi speaks up once again. I sit up and listen carefully. The one thing I wish for is she's in better condition than I.

"She's worse than Namjoon. She's not only isolated herself but she won't communicate anymore. She's stopped speaking, even eating." Jin explains in detail. I push myself off the bed and walk towards the door, pressing my ear to the cold wood.

"So this is all because she likes him and he doesn't feel the same?" hoseok asks for reassurance of the situations standards.

"Pretty much. All because of a girl." yoongi scoffs. But she's not just any girl, she's my best friend.

"the only person that can help now is y/n. We need her." yoongi states in a more serious tone.

"If she's worse than namjoon, then how are we going to help her if we can't even help him?" taehyung asks in curiosity.

"There's all a little namjoon inside of us. Together we can get her to the point of helping him." Jin joins in with Yoongi's plan that's waiting to fail.

"Jimin, Hoseok, you guys try to get her out of her apartment and to here. You two are somehow potentially closer to her than the rest of us. Work your magic." directs yoongi, working towards the main goal of the plan.

"Even if we are closer, I doubt it'll be enough to make her happy." hoseok explains Concerned of the whereabouts of the plan.

"You don't have to make her happy, you just have to make her unisolate herself." groans yoongi. He's particularly anxious to get this plan rolling and into action.

I hear footsteps moving in different sections of the dorm. They're done with the conversation. I sigh and lean my back against the door, slowly letting myself drag down, along the cold hard surface to the ground.

Why must life be so complicated? Am I not supposed to be friends with her? I just got her back, how does any of this make sense? And why can't I figure out how I am feeling?

Your P.O.V.

Wallowing away in my sorrows was what I planned to do for the rest of my life. At this point, the thought of doing nothing for the rest of my lonely life seems intriguing.

"Y/n I'm going to the store. I'll be back in fifteen." my friend speaks with a warm smile plastered on her face. My emotionless demeanor shows nothing as I look at her to just turn away again.

I hear a sigh and the opening and closing of a door. I have been trapped inside my head for the past few days. It's like no matter how hard I speak, nothing will come out. They all assume I don't want to speak, it's the exact opposite in fact. I want to yell all the emotions I'm feeling at the top of my lungs.

But any pride or confidence I had left, power or will I still held, disappeared the moment I entered my apartment that day. It's retreated to the furthest corner of my mind and hid there, waiting to be found one day.

I wonder if this is how yoongi always feels? He speaks rarely and when he does, it almost sounds like he's in pain. Is this the mentality he lives with daily?

A knock at the door breaks me away from my deep thoughts. I furrow my eyebrows and look at the door curiously. My friend hadn't told me we'd be having guests.

I push myself out of the cross-legged position I was in off the floor, making my way to the door. I open it with ease and look to see who has come. My eyes widen with surprise when I see two people I didn't expect to ever see again.

"Hi y/n." Jimin speaks in a soft, cautious tone. His smile is warm, same with hoseok's. I smile and step aside, signaling them to come in.

They look around at the small apartment and look at me shortly after. "So what have you been up to these past few days?" Jimin asks out of curiousity. That question earns him a smack over the head, delivered by the one and only hoseok. Jimin hisses in pain and glares at the older member besides him.

My mind drifts to the events that had taken place these past few days. Nothing, I've been doing absolutely nothing. Nothing but sulking at least. So my answer is either sulking or nothing, or both.

"We were wondering if you'd like to join us for lunch today?" hoseok speaks with a friendly demeanor, quite opposite of mine frankly. The question I want to know is if namjoon will be there?

"It'll just be us three. The other members are practicing." Jimin clarifies after supposedly reading my facial expressions. Did my face show that much just by thinking of namjoon?

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion although. If the other members are at practice, why aren't they? "Oh, you must be wondering why we're not practicing with them. Jimin and I are the lead dancers so we learn easier and quicker in process. We received an early leave from our choreographer. The others weren't so lucky I guess you could say." hoseok answers my question. So it's not my facial expressions. They can read my mind, that must be it. Yep, definitely.

I nod slowly in response and look around, avoiding any awkward eye contact to go along with the silence. "So you wanna go or no?" hoseok chuckles. I mentally face palm for forgetting they had come over here in the first place for that specific reason. I smile a nod. If it's just the three of us then we should be fine, right?