Winter's Widow

Chapter 35

Natasha's pov:

Me and Clint were fighting again in the living room. Things got out of hand quickly...

"Stop fighting in my living room!" Tony scolds as me and Clint continues to throw punches.

We don't care what he says. We will continue to kick and punch. I feel Steve's arms restraining me. Sam is holding back Clint. Bucky, Wanda, Pietro, and Vision all walk into the room to see this go down. When Bucky realizes what's happening he stares at me and crosses his arms. Me and Clint break free and continue to fight. Neither of us are holding back. We throw swift and hard punches. Our kicks are the same. Flipping each other over, we don't care. I think assassin mode has activated to an extent in both of us. It's slowly consuming me. I feel less and less emotion with each punch I throw. I don't even care if I hurt him anymore. I just want to win. I must win. Flashbacks of the red room flood my mind and now, I'm a little ballerina again. Fighting to the death for my own survival. I am the Black Widow. A name I earned by not caring about those around me. I earned the name with skill. Lack of emotion. Readiness to kill on sight. Victims don't live to tell the tale of seeing me. I have made a name for myself. I am one of the earths deadliest assassins. I am the Black Widow. I feel nothing. I don't care if I hurt him. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

Kill him.

Save him.

Kill him.

Save him.

Kill him.

Save him.

Kill him.

Save him.

Kill him.

Save him.

Kill him.

Save him.

I'm pulled off of him, and out of the fight. I don't know by who, but I don't care. I just now realize what I have done. I see Clint, a bloody mess on the floor. I see the blood on my own hands. It's a mixture of his and my own blood. I realize that I have cuts and wounds all over my body too. Clint is unconscious.

"No." I whisper in disbelief.

"W-What did you do to him?" Sam looks at me, terrified.

Wanda lifts his body and takes him to get fixed and healed.

"What happened?" Tony snaps at me.

"I-I don't know." I can hear my voice shaking.

"Why did you do that? What the fuck were you thinking?" He grabs me by the collar of my shirt and pulls me to him.

"I-It was an accident-" He cuts me off.

"An accident? You nearly killed him!" He shouts.

"Tony-" Steve interjects.

"Can it Steve!" Tony shuts him down "What were you thinking? What was going through your head when you decided to beat the living shit out of him?" Tony asks.

"I... Nothing..." I stare off into space.

"Tony, it was an accident-" Bucky interrupts.

"Shut it tin man!" Tony cuts him off too "I knew we shouldn't trust you. You're an assassin. You've got murder in your blood. You just can't seem to let people live. What's wrong with you? You have no excuse for this. Bucky was brainwashed. They turned his brain into mush. You? You knew exactly what you were doing! You killed them voluntarily! It was your decision to kill those people! You have no excuse for your actions! You will never wash all the blood off your hands. You're a monster, and you don't belong here." He shouts.

I stare at the wall in disbelief. My shirt is covered in blood, and so are my pants and boots. Mostly my hands. I have a little bit of blood on my face too. I stand and turn to Tony with a face void of all expression.

"You think I don't know that Tony?" I say quietly, and calmly.

He seems a bit taken aback by my reaction. I quickly walk to the stairs and head down. Once I'm out of their sight, I take off at full speed. He's right. I'm a monster that doesn't belong. I'll never wipe my ledger of all the red. I bust out the front doors to the tower and take off down the street.

I need somewhere to hide. I see an abandon parking lot under a roof, and think it's a good spot to hide for now. I hide in the corner or the roofed lot curled up in a ball. It's dim, but not too dark. Just the way I like it. I pull out my buzzing phone to see a call from Steve. I decline the call.

He calls again. Again, I decline the call.

I get call from Bucky. I decline. I keep getting calls from all of them, and I will continue to decline. I hear Steve calling my name out there. I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm a monster. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right. Tony was right.

I'm a monster.