Winter's Widow

Chapter 108: Should I Embrace It?

Natasha's pov:

I feel my phone buzz. I grab it and see that I got a text from Clint.

'Natashaaaaaaaaa'

'What?'

'I'm lonely. Please, he can have you tomorrow. He got to hang out with you yesterday. It's my turn.'

'Sorry, but you know how the soldier is. He's not gonna let me go, even if I wanted to.'

'I hate him.'

'Don't worry, the feelings are mutual.'

'How come he always gets to hang out with you DX??'

'He gets jealous super fast.'

'And mean. And aggressive. And violent.'

'Out of love, my dear Watson.'

'Sure, sure. I get to hang out with you tomorrow, though.'

'lol tell him that.'

He doesn't respond to that last text. I realize that Bucky's no longer on my lap. I feel him peering over my shoulder with his arms wrapped around my waist. He's reading the texts.

"This is none of your business." I turn off my phone and toss it aside.

He growls and buries his face in my neck. I put my hands on his arms. I whine when he bites harder. He he lingers a little longer before releasing me. I stand up and slip out of his grasp. I put my hand on the area he bit and glare at him. His face remains mostly blank, with the exception of the faint smirk. Though it's barely noticeable, I can tell it's a smirk of pride. When I can't hold back a grin, I turn away so he can't see. I hear him getting up and approaching. I quickly hide the smile and turn to face him, but he's not there. What the actual fuck. Where. Is he. I scan the room left and right, and there's no sign of him. Is he under the bed? Did he hide in the closet just to scare me? That sounds like something Bucky Barnes would do, but this is the Winter Soldier. Then I feel it. A gut feeling. A knowing. I can't see him, but he's there. I feel his presence, like a ghost.

He's

Right

Behind

Me,

Isn't he?

I shuffle my legs awkwardly and sigh. As soon as I turn around, something's gonna happen. I know it is. This is the Winter Soldier. Surprise attack specialist. Fuck. Me. Sideways.

Should I embrace it? Should I ignore it? What do I do? Should I step back into his arms, or should I walk away just to tease him? I can tell he's only a foot or two behind me. Another gut feeling. I feel his wrap his arms around my waist, and apparently I embrace it. I guess it's natural reaction at this point, because that was not planned. I just leaned back into him, and he snakes his arms around me further. I put my hands on his forearms again. I feel my heart rate speeding up. His right hand travels up my shirt a bit. I hug his left arm and whine nervously in response. Part of me is intimidated by him, but the other begs for more. I'm very conflicted. He tries to gently pull his arm out of my grasp, so I let him go. Feeling a little anxious, I try to step away from him, but he pulls me right back. He holds me tighter, and I lean into his hold again submissively. I tuck my arms against my chest. He turns and steps back towards the bed, dragging me along with him. He sits on the bed, and he sits me between his legs. He keeps a tight hold around me, and keeps my back pressed tightly against him. His metal hand travels up to my chest, and I hug his arm gently to me. I feel him biting my neck, and his arm around my waist gets tighter. Just the way I like it. Tight space, firm grip. I hug his arm tighter to my chest. Oh, now he's leaving a mark. His left hand slides up to my neck and jawline, and he runs his finger over. He's tracing his hand down my neck carefully, being sure to take in detail. He loves it. Me too. As much as I love this, it doesn't settle the fact that he's still intimidating. Imagine being in the arms of a person who can crush a skull with his left hand. Do anything wrong, and you're fucking dead. It's not a pleasant death, either. Yeah, it's a little scary. I guess he noticed how nervous and tense I am. His right arm feels over my tensed up body. He pulls back, finally giving my neck a rest. His metal hand goes back down and grabs my arms. He holds my wrists with his left hand like handcuffs. His left arm is firmly secured over me, and his right arm releases me. I feel my back exposed to him when he pulls back a little more. What is he doing? I feel him running his hand over my back. I stiffen up a little more at the strange actions and contact. He growls at that. My heart beats a little faster. He starts pressing firmly on pressure points. Oh no, not this bullshit again.

"J-James, don't-" I panic.

I try to pull my hands out of his grasp, but his grip is too tight. He only hold my hands tighter. I try to turn my back a little, but to no avail. He locks his thighs around my hips, so I can't move out of the way. I try to fight back, but there's nothing I can do. He keeps pressing my back in all the spots I hoped he wouldn't, as I struggle to avoid the outcome. I quickly go limp in his arms. He presses my back up against him again. I lay my head back against his chest and whine in exasperation. He tugs on the collar of my shirt, and I lazily lift my arms up. He pulls it over my head and violently throws it aside. I growl to challenge him again. His arms wrap tightly around my waist and chest, and he growls back of course. He finds a new spot and on my neck he likes and starts biting at me. I whine when he bites hard enough for it to be painful. I quickly silence myself, knowing he'll think he's winning. He just bites harder, knowing he's about to win. I will not let him. I wont. I wont. I wont. My brave silence turns to whimpers for mercy. He growls deeply once more, just to make sure dominance is established. Biting turns to hickeys, and I put my hand on his head and play with his hair. I run my fingers and brush through his hair lazily, and he loves it. It's a weird feeling. Being in the arms of a man who once tried to kill me. Now, he adores me. He's got his arms around me like someone could take me at any moment. His fixation on me is driving him. Driving him crazy. Especially in Winter Soldier mode like this. As the Winter Soldier, he didn't have much. But he had me. I was pretty much the only thing he had. Even then, I wasn't totally in his hands. Hydra controlled us. Our love was in secret, so we wouldn't get caught. He favored me over the other Widow's in training. He had me. He still sees me as a constant in his life. He sees me as something that will always be here. One of the few things in his life that wont leave. One thing he has control of in his disaster of a life. He has me, and there is no way in hell he's going to let me go a second time. I'm not letting him go again. That little pressure point trick he loves so much is one he reserves for specifically me. He uses it when I'm nervous, panicking, or fighting him. He only uses it when he thinks necessary. It really just causes your spine to go limp. I hate it. It makes me feel defenseless. I know the whole point of him doing that is so I can relax my body, but it doesn't relax my mind. But he does.