~Loved When Gone~

Going Home?

The day had come the day of our freedom or was it? We had been planing this for weeks now and finally, the day has come. The plan was simple but if everything works out we should succeed.

We all gathered around sitting on my bed ready execute the escape plan.

***

1... 2... 3 I push down on a illuminating red button, soon to lead us to our success.

A huge 'BANG' goes off down stares sending everyone rushing into the corridors where an announcement is made, from a small but loud speaker. "Please no one panic and come outside the building in an orderly fashion"

I give everyone a high five for our success. As everyone else in the building scrambles down the massive flights of stares pushing and pulling on each other. Following we hurry down the stairs trying not to look too suspicious.

With everyone gathered outside the building we quietly move to the back of the crowd. Everyone is talking amongst themselves and the teachers inside investigating the situation giving us the perfect chance to escape.

We sneakily cross the road hoping to death no one saw us and walk down to the river on the opposite side of the asylum. We follow the long river to it's end.

We all started cheering but stoped soon after. We all said our goodbyes walking away to our destinations. After walking for around 15 minutes I found the street my house was on. I was finally going home! Or was I? At this point I wasn't too sure if I could call it home and what would my parents say when they saw me again. I suddenly regretted everything I should've stayed.

It would have been better, I would've been with people who actually cared.

No.

It's too late to turn back now.

I push the doorbell hearing the quiet but annoying music playing from inside the house. A minuet pasted so I thought it was safe to assume they weren't home.

Pressing the key into the keyhole I unlock the door and head inside. Before going up to my room I take a look in the pantry and raid all of the sweets to snack on.

I close the door to my room and jump onto my bed preparing to relive the horrors of my life play out once again like every other night this time visioning my friends and what it would've been like without them there to comfort me in my times of need.

***

Two days had past by now I haven't been out of my room to get more food to heal my hunger, cause my parents now know I'm back and aren't happy about it at all! My depression is getting worse and worse as time passes. I'm all alone in this world and I will never be accepted as me.

Or anyone.

I lay in my bed writing the last thing I will ever write.

My suicide note...

Dear mum and dad if I can still call you that... I am sorry for all the troubles I have caused you. I know I'm not what you wanted and I will never be, I'm everything everyone has called me.

A loser.

Pathetic.

Ugly.

Gross.

A wimp.

Useless...

I'm sorry I could never be what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I have anxiety and depression. It's all my fault I should've never been born. I can't live like this and I can't live knowing you aren't happy.

So let me do this.

To make you happy.

Love from your son Alex xoxo. 🖤

I put the pencil down after colouring in a small love heart in the corner of the page. Tears streaming down my face like a flowing river. I grab the gun and rest it against my forehead. I wipe my tears that have stained my cheeks many times before.

I'm finally ready. I'm not scared anymore this time I won't back down.

I remembered all my happy memories, as everything in my field of vision turns black.