Last (Harry Styles)

Seventeen

A/N: omg sorrrry for everything! from chapter 16 being completely horrible, to not updating or even interacting. like I'm just an emotional mess atm, from our boys' four year anniversary to grandpa Grande's passing, & then Frankie crying on bb like this has all just been an emotional week, & I am soooo sorry darlings. Hopefully this chapter makes up for the last.. oops :( now, I still dont have a schedule for when I update considering I'm up then down like daily, but I will try not to keep you all waiting too long!

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I woke up in the early morning due to my sun shining through my curtains. Upon stumbling to my bathroom, I noticed bits of blood smeared on my bed sheets, and pajamas.

A cut on my left wrist had me basically tripping over my own two feet on my way down the stairs.

I don't remember that. I thought to myself. I ran back upstairs only to see a sharpener blade lying on the ground next to my shoes.

"Kris?" My dad called. "Is that you?"

"Uhm, yeah." I said coldly.

"Are you alright?" He asked running up the stairs.

"Perfectly fine." I sighed, picking up the blade. I don't care what my dad thinks of it because he doesn't care.

"Really because the object in your hand says otherwise." He challenged.

"Well it's nothing you'd care to hear." I spat.

"Try me." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Awww, that's cute." I smirked, bumping his shoulder as I passed on my way down the stairs.

I just wanted some toast before my long walk to my mother's. I placed the butter on the counter and patiently waited for my toast to pop.

"Kris!" I heard a female shout.

I didn't move as they called my name again, this time, louder, clearer, and closer. I recognized the voice.  Mandy.

"Kitchen." I heard my father say.

I mentally strangled him for giving away where I was.

"Oh." She sighed in relief upon seeing my presence. "Can you spare me a little time?"

I gave her a cold shoulder, or so it seemed as I turned around to butter my toast.

"Okay." She whispered, pulling out a bar stool and helping herself to the seat. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye.

She crossed her ankles, and placed her bag on her lap. She pulled out her phone, and pretended to play on it.

I surprised her and myself by pulling up the stool next to hers. She looked at me, pleased I was giving her the time of day.

"Can we talk?" She pleaded.

I didn't say anything, the look in my eyes was all the confirmation she needed.

"Where do I start?" She asked herself. Her face was full of concentration, as I waited for her to start because even though there is so much I wanna say, I don't want her to see how weak and broken I am right now.

"Maybe an apology." She broke my thoughts. She stayed facing the bar, nodding in her own confirmation.

"Listen Kristie, I have done you so wrong this past week. The first week of school was not at all what I expected nor intended." She sighed, taking her hands in mine.

"I spoke with Harry, and I now know that my insulting comment was sort of repulsive. I've apologized to him, finding that easier to do than it would be to you." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Anyway, he told me your a wreck. I talked to him the other day. The day you... lost it." She nodded slightly.

"He explained how you talked to him about how you didn't know how to approach the subject, and he convinced me to talk to you first."

I was confused. He told me only hours ago that I was a burden, yet convinced Mandy to make amends? Yeah, so he no longer has to be your go-to. My self-conscious once again, butted in.

"Anyway, I'm finding life without my best friend completely difficult, and I dont wanna continue on without you." Her words tugged at my heart, and tears threatened to spill from my eyes. When I looked up she was full on crying, and I decided to no longer hold back.

I showed her my wrist, her eyes widening at the sight. She looked at me concerned clear in her bright blue eyes.

"Last night." I gulped. "I just... my mom, you, my father.." I trailed off, not wanting to tell her about Harry, at least not yet.

"Kristie, I'm sorry!" She whined.

I shook my head. I don't want pity. I want comfort. Something I haven't felt in the last six years, except for in Harry's embrace.

"What?" She asked, but my eyes said it all. I don't want her to feel sorry, I'm only a burden that way. I reminded myself.

Mandy came along with me to see my mom, considering my mom thought of her as her own daughter, and Mandy thought of her as her mother as well.

"How about some lunch?" She asked, feeling the tension in the car rise by ten.

"I could eat, but the question is, could I keep it down." I commented.

"What do ya mean?" She asked.

Had she already forgotten?

"Do I ever eat after visiting Mom?" I asked, rhetorically.

"Good point." She nodded.

Of course she'd never understand. They were close enough that my mom would introduce her as her own daughter, and she'd cry as well, but she'd never experience it the way I did and do.

"How about you pay my home a visit, and then lunch?" She asked, desperately.

"Sure." I nodded.

"Yay!" She screeched, before making a uturn, and heading for her home.