Chapter 17

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by TrxllSiera01

by TrxllSiera01

Dime POV

"Oh Ash stop, I'm trying to...Ah, fuck"I moaned as gripped on me. Please Lord give me the strength. "I never said you had to stop, continue"I felt her sly smirk in my neck. "If the kids walk into their room and your hands are in my pants and your kissing on me while I attempt on putting their new beds together, I am going to flip my shit Ash" I laughed. Ash smiled into my neck and then asked: "Why?" and I answered with: "Well first this will be the third time this week they've walked into trying to fuck and I'm running out of lies to cover it up"

"You have a point babe, but there's also another reason I feel coming on."She stated. "I'm just not up to sex with you right now, everytime you touch me, I see you and Temper," I confessed. I moved away from her as well. "Ask me whatever you want to know, and do it fast before I change my mind." She said. "When? When did it start?"I questioned. She sighed, "Just after the twins got taken, but it was only once then when we moved into this house, it started and lasted 8 months, then she ended it." I don't know if I want to hear this, it's getting too hard to breathe. For almost an entire year? I know I need to hear this. "Why?"I asked. "I don't know Dime, I just was so caught up in blaming you for what happened I turned to Temper for comfort and we tried fighting the urges but it was too much for me and her to hold in," She said.

"Did you lover? And do you love her?"I asked. This questioned pained Ash, I could see it in her eyes, she hung her head and then looked at me. "I did love her, I loved her so much, but I couldn't love her the way I love you. You had my heart and she was just holding a part of it that you couldn't grasp. Oh, and do I still love her? Yes, but as a friend, we ended things a while ago. "She confessed. I wanted to cry right there but I didn't. "What did she have that I didn't? What made you turn to her and not me? I was there for you, always by your side, I've sacrificed so much for you because I love you, and I'll do it all again. So why couldn't you just choose me?"I asked her.

"She understood me. She understood my needs, She took the time to get to know my desires, my dreams, my passions. She understood me in a time I didn't understand myself. She was there in a time of great need, She didn't start any of it. I did. She wanted to stop it all but I egged it on because I was trying to grasp what I craved from her that you didn't give to me."I licked the inside of my cheek and let a small laugh and a single tear found its way sliding down my face. "Well, you know what Ashley? I understand you, I've always even before she got into the picture. Everything you're saying she did, I did it first because that's what made you fall for me in the first fucking place. If somewhere in the midst I stopped making you feel like that, you should've told me, so I could fix it. I was so caught up in the midst of you almost died from a bullet with our children still in the womb, I was caught up in pulling a bullet from your back, and the biggest task of all was making sure I found our children and got them back home to us. I did it all because I love you. It was you desired most, you wanted our kids back, and I gave it to you. As for all that other shit though Ashley. I encouraged you to make your dreams and passions a reality, I didn't talk through them like you and her did. Remember that." I was tearing up by the end and I stood up and walked out of the kid's room, I need a drink and some weed. I can't handle all that information right now or any of the shenanigans she just fucking said right now. It'll drive me crazy.

I went into our room and transferred my things into my guest room within five minutes. I open the drawer in the room and raised up the faulty bottom and pulled out my stash blunts. I shut my door. Then I went to my closet and opened up the mini fridge and put the code to open it and took out a bottle of gin and bourbon. I popped the lid off of them both and chugged them a little bit. I sat on my bed and lit a blunt. Feeling a little lighter already.

3 hours, 5 blunts, and 3 bottles of liquor later

I was feeling good, I was as high as the shy right now and drunk none of the less, but I felt alive right now and really happy. I'm just going to sit back and relax. That was until Ash barged into my room.

"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DIME?"She screamed at me. "Chill bruh you are killing my high right now" I laughed. She yanked the sheet from on top of me. "Okay, now it's dead, can't I just sulk right now? I'm sad and want to be left alone"I whined. I'm still very drunk but I'm very alert of what is going on. Ash got into bed beside me and she held my hand. "I love you damn it. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting. I know an apology isn't enough but we have a lifetime of being together and I will make up for what I did every day until I'm taken from you."She said. I knew she meant it. "I love you too" I laughed. "Okay drunk one now go to sleep," she said laughing at me, I snuggled my head against her chest and I was out like a light.

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