Journal Of A Survivor

Three

I looked into her eyes, before her eyes were filled with such confidence. Her eyes used to be filled with with determination. But now, her eyes were pleading for help. Her eyes were filled with pain. I wonder why did this horrible tragedy had to happen. What did she do to deserve this?

"Why?" She asked. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay. I wanted to let her know she could get through this. I wanted to tell her so much. But the words wouldn't come out. I saw her eyes fill up with tears. I could see how hurt she was. She needed help.

I opened my mouth to speak. I wanted to say it will get better. But all I could say was "Stay Strong." A single tear traveled down her cheek. I turned away. I couldn't stand there watching her cry. I couldn't. I didn't want to see the tears in her eyes or how they traveled down her pale face. I just couldn't watch her in pain. It was too much.

Later That Night

She got up from her bed feeling a bit hungry. She walked down the stairs. One hand on the rail and the other hand sliding against the wall. She switched on the kitchen light. It was night time, she assumed everybody were in their rooms asleep. She opened the freezer and pulled out a burrito. She loved eating frozen foods, it was much easier to just stick the food in the microwave than to slave over a hot stove. She made her way towards the microwave, unwrapping the burrito in the process.

She looked towards the living room, realizing her father was sleeping on the living room floor. Her eyes widened and she wanted to cower and run back to her room. She decided against it. She then wanted to tell him they could get through this. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. But something stopped her from doing so. There was something holding her back. Who knows what it was, cause she didn't even know her self. Maybe it was because how estranged they were. They may be father and daughter but it was like they were complete strangers. She knew he was hurting as well. She wanted to comfort him. But she just grabbed the burrito and walked back to her room.

She savored the flavor of the burrito. She hadn't eaten all day. She hadn't had much appetite since the accident. She chewed the burrito carefully but she was desperate for food in her stomach. The food burned her mouth but she chewed anyway.

She played back images from her accident. She wasn't sure how this happened or why. She remembered the day her parents came back from their trip she was barely coming out the shower. She was fully dressed and she was thankful for that.

Flashback

Her mom barged in and pushed her against the wall. Her mother began yelling at her.

"How could you let this happen? Why did you do this? To your sister of all people. What is wrong with you? Why?" Her mother yelled.

 The girl only did what she could. She cower against the wall sobbing. Her mother had locked herself in the bathroom with her. She was scared for her life. A few pounds against the wall and she opened the door. This time her father had came in. He also began yelling at her. He slightly raised his hands in frustration that made her flinch. She looked out the door her other older sister stood there not doing one single thing to help her.

Her older brother luckily stepped in and began yelling at them.

"If you don't leave her alone, I'm going to call the cops on you." He yelled at them.

"On who?" My mom challenged.

"On both of you." He said. He pushed them out the bathroom and hugged his little sister. She uncontrollably began sobbing into his chest. His face was stained with tears. He pulled her into his room where she had slept the night before; after the accident happened. She sat at the far edge of the bed and rested her head against the wall. She hugged her knees. Her brother sat across from her.

"No matter what happens or what you choose to do I will support you on it." He said wiping his tears with his shirt. She didn't speak, but she nodded her head. She was so thankful she had someone on her side. She loves her brother dearly, she does not only she him as her brother but a best friend as well. She didn't know what she'll do if she didn't have him in her life.

End of flashback

She shook her head trying to shake that memory out of her head. She laid back in bed. She was a zombie. She just wanted all of her pain to go away. She wanted it to disappear. But she knew that was unlikely. She laid on her side staring blankly at the wall until a few hours later she fell asleep.