Warriors: Bumblestripe's Insanity

Chapter Twenty-Nine: The ThunderClan Deputy

I decided that I did trust Mousewhisker after he agreed to kill Brackenfur. There was no obvious reason for me to want his death, but a nightmare I'd had the night before had sealed his fate. After two nights of no sleep, I accidentally dozed off against my will. In the dream, I was completely paralyzed and lying on sandy ground. Brackenfur had dug a hole and pushed my body into it, then kicked sand over it, locking me in the darkness forever. I was suffocating, my lungs were burning, and I had a vicious headache, yet I couldn't recede into unconsciousness. I was stuck there, in darkness, choking, in pain forever.

The real target should've been Blossomfall, but I feared retaliation from her numerous followers that she certainly had within my own Clan. I didn't trust her at all, and yet I couldn't simply kill her off. There was no answer to this problem, at least none that I could see.

Late at night, Mousewhisker summoned the senior warrior outside. I watched from the shadows, crouching behind the apprentices den.

Brackenfur looked confused. "Yes? You wanted me?"

Mousewhisker sliced his claws across the air. Brackenfur saw it coming just on time and stumbled backwards. The deputy growled with frustration and leapt at Brackenfur. The senior warrior sidestepped and pulled Mousewhisker's hindlegs out from under him as he landed. Unbalanced, my deputy toppled over and collapsed onto the ground. Brackenfur planted a paw on Mousewhisker's chest.

"What was that for?" Brackenfur demanded.

I emerged from my hiding place, ready to save my deputy, but before I could do anything, Brackenfur dealt the death blow. He clearly didn't trust Mousewhisker not to kill him if he let him go.

Shaking with fury, I crept up behind Brackenfur as he studied the wound in Mousewhisker's neck and the emptiness in his eyes. I pushed the senior warrior over and without hesitation, swept my claws across his throat. I then hurried over to Mousewhisker's body.

I blinked a few times, in shock. Mousewhisker couldn't be dead, he just couldn't.

A few warriors had heard noises outside apparently because they padded out of their den to find me staring listlessly into space, standing over Mousewhisker's body. I turned to face them as they began to ask questions. "I killed Brackenfur, but only because I watched him murder my innocent deputy."

In complete disbelief, I walked slowly into the warriors den and curled up in my nest. As much as I hated sleep, for once I wanted to hide in its world, a world that was no worse than the one I woke up in every day. The nightmares I had were only things that followed me from reality to my dreams, after all. That night, I was forced to watch Brackenfur kill Mousewhisker over and over again.

I realized when I woke that I should've sat vigil for Mousewhisker, but it was too late. I wished I could bring him back. I still needed him. He was the only cat I could trust with my life. Now, I had nobody. I was completely on my own.

Cats spoke to me, but I said nothing to anyone. I had lost the ability to speak or to understand their words. Their sentences sounded like nonsense to my ears. The only way to communicate with me would be with claws, not with words. Combat was the only thing I understood anymore.

I wondered if perhaps I wanted to die. Perhaps I should let Blossomfall kill me and put me out of my misery. I had absolutely nothing to live for. Not a single living soul loved me, I had no friends, and I didn't even have any cats on my side. It was me against the world. Life was constant pain and suffering; perhaps I wasn't evil, and had just been doing the cats I murdered a favor. All I ever felt was misery, loneliness, bitterness, and anger. I had forgotten what happy and satisfied meant.

I wished that Dovewing hadn't rejected me. I would trade all of my power and my leadership away, to have her back and to have her pick me. To have her never have known Tigerheart existed. If she had only chosen me, none of this would've happened. She was the one cat that could've made me feel happy, that could've eased my hurt from Millie's negligence. I wouldn't be sitting here in despair, regretting that I had ever been born and wishing for the impossible; to go back in time and undo all my crimes of the past. I wouldn't be feeling utterly hopeless, unable to believe life could get better because things only ever got worse.

Let Blossomfall be the deputy then. Let her enjoy her leadership, if she can. But one day, her brother's murder will come back to haunt her. In that moment, I will still be there. It'll be my last legacy.

A/N: OH NOES! Mousewhisker died! :( Two chapters left! We are almost ready to start the sequel.