A Beautiful Mess

Thirty First: Game On

Thirty First: Game On

He screamed.

       “Where’d that come from?”

       I ran as fast as I could.  Our morning jog helped boost me up.  Heading to our street, I decided to take a left turn to Bridget’s since mom would just endlessly ask questions to me.

       Once I stood at the door, I couldn’t help but to gasp for more air.  Once the door opened, my breathing started to calm down.

       “Hi Mr. Fletcher, is Bridget here?”

       “She’s in her room. I’ll call—“

       “—would you mind if I come in?”

       He gestured me in and I slowly went up the stairs.

       Even though Bridget had been my friend for years, I never actually was invited to her house.  She would’ve but I think I’d rather spend my time swimming.

       I knocked repeatedly at her door.  Once she opened it, I ran towards her and hugged her.  Before I knew it, tears came running down my cheeks.  I was never emotional especially to her, but I would give this as an exception.

       “What’s the matter, Sayd?” she patted my back.  I wouldn’t release her, “Sayd?”

       Then my anger rose up as I began rewinding the words I heard, “Your charm distracted her. You even got her sick and that’s off the hook!”

       I suddenly pulled her away.  More like a push.  I sat on her bed, sobbing.

       “What happened?” she asked.

       “Ethan happened.”

       “And?”

       “He used me, Bridget! Used me!” the tone of my voice rose.

       I explained to Bridget what I’ve heard.  The whispering talk, the secret behind all of this and the rock.

      

“I’m so sorry.”

       “I’m not.” I snubbed. “I should’ve listened to myself in the first place. It’s all my fault.”

       Anger started to reveal in me.  I would never want to see his face again.  All I could think of was how I hated him more than before. 

       I should’ve known right from the start.  This was a game all along and I was his toy.  His.  Toy.

       I was so stupid.  I fell for him without even thinking if he could catch me.  And that was what I learned, to look first before I fall.

*****

He kept knocking on my door.  But all I did was slam it right in front of his face.  To show him how much of a jerk he was.

       I lied on my bed, not sobbing but thinking.  Rewinding all the things that he said.  His dreamy words were still in my head.  I’ve used to value it, but now it meant nothing.  I brushed my fingers on the necklace he gave.  Without a second, I yanked it and threw it on one corner.

       “Saydie, when will that boy ever stop?”

       All I could see was my dad’s head popping at the side of the door.

       I glanced to check the clock, “If you want, you can shove him off.”

       “Good.” He gave a satisfied look.  Then I realized that he might do it literally.  Of course, he is my dad.

       Ethan’s voice seemed to annoy me little by little every minute.  I hated it.  I hated him.  I hated everything about him.  How dare he use me?  He distracted me with his charm so I couldn’t concentrate on the competition.  It was all just a little plan that he and Rick made.

       His actions were convincing.  And he made me a fool for that.

The sun faded and started to settle.  I started to regret everything.  I regret the time when I decided to give away my name to the Summer dance, all the times when I was with him; in the car, the bike rides, the breakfast, the training, the sand castle and lastly, the moment when I gave him a chance even though he’d done enough.

       My optimism had gone far.  And this is what I get for expecting too much.  It’s just difficult to keep up with him.  I can never trust and had never believed that Ethan was just another careless boy.

   I took a quick look out of my window and noticed that he left.

       Maybe it’s safe to get out now.

       I joined my family and ate dinner with them without having a conversation.  Maybe they knew I was hurt.  It didn’t feel awkward, though.  After that, I went up and decided to cry myself to sleep.

       But then I realized that crying wouldn’t do any help.

       Instead, I got off my bed and went out to my little balcony.  Everyone in the street was asleep and I envy them.  I looked up at the sky wondering how many people were at the same situation as I am.  I stared at the sky, wanting to feel lost.  But somehow I didn’t feel it.

       I asked the sky, was there some kind of reason why this happened?

       There’s only one thing to do: beat him in the swimming competition.