The Bad Boy of Mine

Chapter 11 ll Daddy.

Zoey's POV

I always thought Genesis would make a good study buddy.

I imagined that she would be quietly revising her biology notes, working on problem sums. Occasionally, she would ask if I needed any help with my homework. If I do, she would dive right into a mini lecture to clear up all my doubts and questions.

How wrong was I.

"Zoey, are Spongebob and Patrick gay?"

"Genesis can we please focus on our work and stop questioning fictional characters' sexual orientation?"

For the past 15 minutes or so, she hasn't stop asking whether Barney is bisexual or not.

Genesis pouts, "But.. but I need to know!"

"You need to concentrate on Mount. Everest-Homework before you start a full on research on that."

She scowls at me and resumes her work. As I stare at the spawn of satan a.k.a my algebra homework, my mind drifts back to last Friday.

-

I blush furiously. What am I supposed to say?

"Hmm."

"Hmm?" Chris laughs then release his hand from my fingers. He shifts a little, and turns to lie down on his back. His forearm tucked under his head.

Crossing my legs, I release a sigh. A sigh of happiness? Relief? Disappointment?

In the gigantic house behind us, a melody starts playing sorrowfully. Shit, not this song. Not today. Not now. Not here.

Shakily, I take in a deep breath.

"Chris, it's getting cold out here. I'm going in."

"What -" I stride off before he could finish. The velvety voice starts singing.

You showed him all the best of you but I'm afraid your best wasn't good enough

It's been some time since I've last cried about him. The thought of him seems so foreign right now. I hate to talk about him. He was an idiot for leaving me, look how cool I've become. Actually, I've never really cared about him.

Right?

Wrong.

I know he never wanted you, at least not the way you wanted yourself to be loved 

I don't blame him for leaving us. Mother can be pretty overbearing at times. What pains me the most was the fact that he didn't even try to act like he cared. 

And you feel like you were a mistake. He's not worth all those tears that won't go away

He was only there when Mother demanded him to be there for me. Since I was 6, I knew it already. I knew it long before Mother eventually found out everything. 

I wish you could see that. Still you try to impress him but he never will listen 

At least I've tried. I tried so hard. I tried to impress him, but look at what happened in the end. The bastard still wouldn't appreciate my work. When I was 7, most of my friends were still scribbling on their activity books. I had the choice to do so too, I actually had the choice to choose to be an adolescent, to be a carefree child, to pretend I didn't know what's going on. 

Oh broken angel. Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams? 

Instead, I chose otherwise.

Oh broken angel. Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe. Oh you can't believe

I chose to stay up late, reading, memorizing my notes over and over again - hoping that maybe, just maybe, I would do well for my tests so that he'll pay me some attention. I begged and pleaded for extra classes. My teachers didn't understand. Why would a 7 year old work so hard? I needed to. I needed to show him. Show him that I can do something worth while for him to at least give me a nod of approval. Yet, the satisfaction from the full marks on the tests were nothing compared to the extreme coldness. It was then, I realized how much a face of aloofness from someone you loved so deeply could tear you apart.