Astrophile [J.P]

Chapter 19

~ We all bear the scars. Yeah, we all feign a laugh

We all cry in the dark, get cut off before we start. ~

***

With Stefan out on a business trip and no one else to bother Felicity and her mother, it was safe to say that the Summer Break was going on rather conveniently for the two of them. Fel found it easier to talk to Esther now that her Dad wasn't there to make things worse.

He was not a bad man, he didn't force anything on them but he was just not very good with the idea of having Felicity around. Of course Stefan cared for his wife and indirectly though for Felicity as well since she was important to Esther. But other than that, he preferred if he wasn't dragged into the responsibility of actually being a father and look out for her.

Over the years, Fel had grown used to it and didn't bother much but Esther, who wanted her daughter to have a completely normal life, would sometimes try her best to mend the breach between her daughter and husband. And usually that would land them into an argument.

But these days, they were making the best use of their time together. Once Esther had taken her out for shopping, and despite herself Felicity rather enjoyed the outing. They had a great time visiting shops, trying out new stuff and at the end going to dinner at a nearby restaurant.

Throughout the day, the same thought crossed Esther's mind more than thrice; what if she had never chosen to marry Stefan in the first place? She had never seen her daughter so carefree and joyous before. She had never seen her smile when they were with Stefan. She wondered whether she had really not taken Felicity into account while securing her personal life through marriage to Stefan Latvia.

She wondered whether it really was for the best or both of them would have been far happier without him being there. But then, Stefan was playing his part as well as he could. He did more than anyone else would for them both. And she could not consider forcing him out of their lives after all that.

"Mum, it's getting late. We should be going home by now, right?" 

Felicity's voice shook her out of her thoughts, "oh. Of course. Let me just pay the bill here."

Their house wasn't far from the restaurant so they chose to walk back home instead of taking a cab. The streets were lit by lamp-posts bestowing an ethereal yellow light as the two women walked down to their neighborhood. 

For the first time, Esther felt as if Fel really was behaving like any other girl her age. There was a light spring in her step, her blue eyes were sparkling from either joy or excitement and there was a beautiful smile on her face as she chattered continuously, pointing out all she had liked and disliked through their shopping spree.

Esther however kept silent, simply observing her daughter's behavior. She was trying to figure out where she had gone wrong. Why Fel wasn't like that with her at other of the times? After Felicity's father left, she had no place to turn to and nowhere to go. She was left homeless, without a penny and with a mere three year old child on her hands to take care of. 

What else could she do at that time time except accepting the proposal of her childhood friend, Stefan, and marrying him in order to escape from the disgrace of the world? What else could she do to secure her and her daughter's future?

But now she had a few doubts in her decision. Now she was beginning to think that in her haste at that time, she had overlooked her daughter's happiness and freedom completely.

***

A tawny brown owl swooped in through the window and landed at the counter in front of Esther who was cleaning the dishes and arranging them in the cabinets. She was a bit surprised when the owl held out its tiny leg to her on which an envelope was tied. Expecting that it would be a letter for Felicity, she untied it and gave the owl some tidbits as a treat. 

The mellow sound of a piano being played in Fel's room upstairs could be heard floating down there as well. She was about to call her but paused seeing the name written on the envelope; Esther Cremonesi.

She was more shocked that the letter bore her maiden name instead of the surname Latvia. Not knowing what was meant by that, she closed the window after the owl had left and sat down in a nearby chair then tore open the envelope.

Felicity came in the kitchen just in time to see the owl taking flight. She was a bit confused as she wasn't expecting any mail that day but realized that their OWL results were to come somewhere in the Summer Break and thought it would be that.

"Mum, is that a letter for me?" 

She stood up startled to see Felicity standing at the kitchen door with a questioning look in her blue eyes. Eyes that were exactly like her father's.

"No honey, it's addressed to me as written on the envelope."

Felicity took the envelope from her and clear enough her mother's name was written in a flourishing cursive. She had seen that writing somewhere but wasn't too sure about that.

Esther's eyes were gliding over the parchment, quickly taking in all that was written and an intense sadness took over her face. The letter surely contained bad news.

"So is this from one of my teachers, informing you about my lack of interest in studies?" she asked with a slight playful smile.

"I know you're brilliant at school, Fel, and I'm sure all your teachers would have absolutely no complaints regarding you," her voice was muted as she replied, her dark irises welling up with tears but she was doing her best not to let them slip down her cheek.

She didn't want her daughter to see that she was in pain.

"Then who else in the whole wizarding world would write to a Muggle housewife? Don't get me wrong but I am really curious."

Esther sighed not knowing what to tell her. She had seldom seen Fel so lighthearted and she didn't wish to spoil her mood. "It's from... It's from a friend."

"Really? You have magical friends? That means you must have known about the wizarding world way before I went there."

She nodded, "to be honest, yes I did know about it."

Felicity observed her silently taking in the sadness on her face and noticing how her eyes were shifting uncomfortably. She nodded as if she had reached to a conclusion, "I get it now. It's a letter from my father, right?"

Esther didn't deny her this time. She simply sat back down on the chair, knowing that the time had come for her to give all the answers she had kept delaying for too long. "He's dying," she spoke regretting her words soon as they escaped her. 

Felicity knelt down on her knees in front of her mother and took her hands in her own, "why didn't you tell me before? I would not have said a single word to Dad. I would have kept your secret."

"Honey, I didn't want to ruin anything for you. I wanted you to have a normal happy life. And... And Stefan knows. I hadn't kept anything secret from him. He knew all before he accepted me and you as his family."

Tears fell down Esther's eyes and she wiped them away not wanting to let her daughter see her as weak. 

"Mum, look here," she squeezed her hands gently, "we have never been close but that doesn't mean that I hate you or vice versa. You don't have to feel guilty. Just tell me who he is. And I promise you I won't ever bring him up again."

Esther nodded, "we are going to meet him today."

Felicity was slightly taken aback as she was clearly not expecting that, "and what about Dad?"

"You have to promise me that you won't tell him a word about it," she stated looking directly in her daughter's eyes, "now go and get dressed, Fel. We are leaving as soon as we can."

***