Perspectives

The One with the Scream

"What was my fault? Tell me akka, what did I do wrong?"
Her words continue to ring in my ears to this day. Every time I hear them I feel nothing but torment, anger and disgust. The fact that my sister was brutally raped by so many men gets my blood boiling.

She wasn't like other children; she had a hearing disability in which her left ear was damaged since birth. Barring that, she was just as normal- a sweet little student, a naughty sister and an obedient daughter. To her, the world was nothing but sweet daisies and roses. She was as innocent and immature as any 11 year old had the right to be. But her behaviour had underwent a change in the last few months. She had become quieter, more hesitant and scared. She seemed to expect a reprimand even for the smallest mistake.

Being old enough and studying in a reputed college in Delhi, I would sometimes feel that she had been drugged. But then I would laugh it off and think that I was envisioning hostel life at home as well. I wondered why I hadn't picked up on the signs sooner. There had been times she just stared at me, as if trying to tell me something.
One day, when I was reading my daily newspaper, she walked up to me with dead eyes and started crying. I tried asking her what was wrong but she continued to cry for 10 minutes, emptying out all the sadness that had built up in the last few months and finally said, "I am sorry akka, I am sorry".
"What happened thangacchi? Please do not cry. Did amma tell you something? Appa refused to take you to your favourite restaurant? Did I do something? Tell me what is wrong?"

A few minutes after my failed attempts, she  suddenly undressed herself and faced me, fully naked. I was stunned by this action. She was a shy child and had never done this before. That was when I noticed something was very wrong. She had bruises all over her private parts. I prayed to every God I knew that it wasn't what it seemed to be. My eyes shot up in wild fear and finally met hers and I knew what it was.

It felt like the entire world had come crashing down on me. No words could describe what I felt. "Who was it?" I simply demanded. She did not tell me the names but recounted the story of what was done to her by grown men over the course of the past few months. After a certain point, I couldn't take it. I started shouting.

Amma came from the kitchen downstairs and seeing both of us like this, rushed towards us. All three of us were silent when I finally mustered up the courage to tell her what happened. She just lost her footing and fell back upon where she stood. I could not take it. Seeing the people that I loved the most, defeated like this. I called the all women police helpline who quickly sent up 3 police constables. My sister narrated the entire story to them. They swung into action. In the span of one week, they arrested 18 men from various age groups.
Images of my sister keep flashing in front of my eyes. While on one hand I want to end such people, on the other, I'm afraid of even leaving the house.
What was my sister's fault? I ask myself again and again. What was her fault?

India acts on being progressive and yet no stringent laws have been made. How is it that these people always get away and if any action is taken, it's taken after several years? After all the proofs against them, rapists should be hanged in front of the public. If the victim feels that being dead is better than living a life without any dignity and respect, why should the criminal get any more?

The media is no better. They carry and show the news as long as there is spice in it. Once they get a bigger story, ours is left to dust. If the media is as strong as it is portrayed, then why aren't they taking initiatives to stop this.

Instead of teaching girls the proper "etiquettes", boys and men should be taught to respect all women. Girls should be educated to be fearless and bold and to not be blackmailed easily.

My sister's innocent childhood was destroyed by men who are probably blaming her right now. All the happiness has been sucked out of her life and I'm terrified that she will not be able to find it again. She'll never be able to believe again. To believe that there is still good in this world.

-Rtr. Devesh Kabra