Define Me

Chapter 4

Finally, it's Friday. Despite having a flashback about this particular day, I embrace it as it is the end of the school day of the week. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't embrace it for too long when aunt Julia messaged me before recess, reminding me to clean and organized the other half of her collections of porcelain plates and teacups that I haven't finished unpack because they are going to have guests tonight. Luckily, I didn't have to excuse myself from my work at the clinic because Dr Helena informed that she's pretty busy with the town council incoming events so she gives us a day off since she said and I quote "You guys deserve to relax before we continue with those records and dusts". But it was never a rest day for me.

Now as I wait for Mr Gerald to enter, I close my eyes and start counting, again, the number of collection that she has at the moment. She probably wants me to clean it and make it shiny too so I have to think the time and ways to clean it fast and arrange them. Then after that, I have to cook for them which make me thinking what should I cook for these guests. Maybe I need to go to do a bit of shopping again for the ingredients too. 

A chair screeching beside me making me jump in my seat and look up to meet with a pair of grey eyes, Damien. I wanted to change seat but after what happened, I rather sit with him than sitting beside too much curious girl or horny boy.

It's not I'm their taste anyway. I'm short, a freak, ug-

"You need to relax. you're thinking too much, Sirena."

I couldn't help but to blink, so stun at him calling my name with his manly voice. Feeling like I gape too long at him, I look away and stare at the table. Damien removes his jacket and at a distance, I could hear the girls talking about his body and such. I randomly scribbling or doodling on my notebook almost in impatient until he chuckled. "You're not much of a talker, are you?" I could feel his gaze on me.

Ignoring the girls whispering around me, I shrug and just playing with my pen. I don't want to talk to him. It felt good and it also gives me hope to be a normal person but in the end, he'll be calling me names like the others did. Betrayal. Such pain that I don't want to go through again. So far, Damien has nothing but being himself and I know I shouldn't judge the book by its cover but I'd lose hope on hoping that someone might notice me, know me and just accept me. 

But with these scars underneath, I don't think he or anyone would accept my flaws. My failure. My usele-

Mr Gerald stepped in with haste because he was late for 10 minutes and as he starts talking and taking out his books, I open my own notes to write down his assignment. At the same time, I notice Damien had kept his eyes on me. I glanced at him, raising an eyebrow as to ask what is it? I never dare to ask people what's wrong or anything but it was very uncomfortable for me when a person stares too long at me, making me so small and vulnerable especially when it comes from him. He had this dominant aura and that just scare the dear out of me. 

He looks at his notebook, write something before he passed it to me. It was confusing but I reach for the notebook anyway and read it. 'Partner?'

I slide his book back to him and nods while thinking why would he want to pair up with me. Mr Gerald didn't give any rules about choosing the assignment partner so everyone was free to choose their partner but why does this boy next to me willing to pair up with me? Usually, I'm just a last resort. Maybe he thought I was a genius in chemistry which, to be honest, I'm not. I suck at it and if he's hoping that I work everything for this assignment, well, it's not going to be a perfect one. I'm not that brilliant or a genius or even an ace student.

I'm nothing.

~~~~~~

The bell ring and it was recess. I was starving which make my hands slightly shook. Being this flaws of me, I have a bit of gastric and asthma. Maybe that's why aunt Julia and Stellar called me pathetic. I shove my books and pens inside my backpack before leaving. My lab partner already left almost in a hurry since he keeps having texts from someone which I was thankful for that because once a while during Mr Gerald was teaching, he kept staring at me, studying me and made me feel so naked under his intense grey eyes. To be honest, I never felt so vulnerable under someone's eyes.