Diary of A Wallflower

Chapter 29

(Jade's P.O.V)

*WARNING: this chapter is dramatic and has self harm. If you're sensitive, skip some of this at the bottom.*

I didn't get much sleep that night. I stayed up all night crying. I fell asleep around 5 am but then woke up at 7. I cried myself to sleep and everything. I fell back asleep around 8 and woke back up at 12 so I just decided to get up. I don't care if I look like crap.

I brushed my hair and teeth and then went downstairs. Everyone was here again except Taylor. He's probably with that Brianna girl.

"Morning Jade." Sam said and I waved but didn't say anything.

I went I the kitchen and grabbed a small orange and made my way back up to my room. I heard the front door open as I was walking upstairs and heard Taylor's voice. He mumbled a hey and that was it. I don't care anymore.

You do care but you're trying to make yourself think you don't.

My conscious told me but I told it to shut up.

I just want to crawl in bed and lay there forever.

As I shut my door and dove into my bed and laid down. I'm so tired. I quickly ate my orange and then closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

**

I woke up and checked the time. 2 pm my clock read. Ugg I just want to sleep but my mind won't let me. I checked my texts from last night and read them. I had 20 from Sam, 12 from Kian, 4 from Acacia and Andrea, 5 from Nash and Cameron, and 7 from Taylor. I read through them all but one of Taylor's caught my eye.

*You probably don't even care about me anymore and want me to die but I want you to know that I really like you and I'm sorry for not telling you about Brianna. I really am sorry. You probably won't forgive me anyway so I don't even know why I'm trying. I'm sorry for upsetting you but I'm not sure what else to do anymore. I've apologized a lot so I'm just going to give up. You probably hate me now and I wouldn't blame you. I wanted to ask you out so many times but I never did and then I started dating Brianna. She's really sweet and nice.

We weren't really even a couple anyway Jade so why are you so upset with me?

Anyway, sorry for upsetting you. Bye.*

Wow. Taylor's right. We weren't a couple anyway so why should I be so upset.

Because you love him.

My conscious said.

I will admit, I was starting to fall in love with him a little bit and that has never happened before. I decided to go downstairs to get some water and that was a mistake.

"Guys, this is Brianna my girlfriend." Taylor spoke and I got down there.

I wanted to run at Taylor and punch him but I couldn't. I quickly went to the kitchen to get water but I decided to grab an apple and eat it in the kitchen so I could hear what they would say but that was a mistake. Everyone introduced themselves and then Sam called for me. I threw away my apple core and then went out there to see what he wanted.

"This is my sister Jade. She's 17." Sam said looking at me.

Brianna was beautiful. She has long, curly brown hair and green eyes. Her eyes were pretty and she was skinny. I smiled a little and she smiled back.

"I love you." Brianna whispered to Taylor and only I heard it.

"I love you too." Taylor replied quietly and kissed her.

I grew angrier and angrier just standing there. I quickly made my way to my room and slammed my door. I looked at my walk that had photos of my and the rest of the guys and I tore down all of the photos of Taylor and I. There was at least 20 of them. I took the off the walk while crying and I threw them on my desk. I'm so heart broken and angry.