Unchangeable\\ Labbie Fanfiction

Chapter III

A/N sos I haven't been writing, my lazy ass decided to write a chapter for youse. 

Gabbie POV

Liza and I are sitting on the couch, watching Wynonna Earp. I feel her head on my shoulder, but I let her stay there. I rest my hand on the couch, and I look up to watch the episode. I feel her hand touching mine, then her fingers intertwining with mine. I glance down, and I do my part of the deal. I keep watching the movie, when I feel her looking at me. I try to keep looking forward, but I can't resist the urge. I steal a glance, and her look disappears. I glance back at the screen and my eye catches on an item on the shelf. I try to see what it is without moving.

L: you right?

G: yeah, I'm fine

L: ok

I keep watching the movie, and she seems to calm down. I forget about it and keep watching the movie. I feel her fall asleep against me, and I let myself fall asleep against her.

I wake up and she is asleep against me. I try get up, unsuccessfully, without waking her.

L: morning

G: sorry for waking you

L: no worries

I just looked around and I found the thing I'd been looking at constantly ever since I stepped foot in this apartment. I tried to read what it says but I'm too far away.

L: what's on the agenda?

G: I dunno

I glance away and I think about Liza. Her perfect eyes, her hair and the way it curls up, her laugh. It's addictive like a drug. The way she knows how to hold hands properly, the way I like it.

L: hello. Hello!

G: hmm?

L: what's going on in that mind of yours?

G: nothing.

L: you sure?

G: yeah.

I think about what would happen if I wasn't gay. If I ever craved dick. If I was ever the feminine one in a relationship. I realised I haven't been the feminine one in a relationship. I mean I've only been in 3. 2 with women. The other one, the guy came out first.But still, I'm not very butch at all. 

L: earth to Gabbie!

G: huh?

L: what's wrong?

G: nothing. I promise.

I get a call from David, and I put it on speakerphone.

G: what do you want?

D: I didnt mean it. What I did. I was just in the moment. It wasn't anything. I was thinking, and I have realised my mistake.

G: ok.

D: That's it?

G: yeah.

D: really, I wanted to hear more than an ok.

G: ok.

D: fine.

Call Ended

G: sorry.

L: I don't mind.

My eye catches that thing on the shelf one more time. I get up to go look at it, but Liza pulls me back down.

L: your warm.

Liza POV

I didn't pull her back down cause she was warm. I pulled her back down cause she couldn't see what was there. I pretended to snuggle up to her whilst worrying about her seeing it.

G: going to the toilet, ok?

L: sure.

She walks away and I jump up and quickly hide the item on the shelf. I go and pretend I never moved. I sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket and watch the movie.

G: Liza? What's this?

I look up and she has my razor. Fuck.

G: wrist please.

I pull my jumper down and give her my uncut arm.

G: other one.

I don't give it up. She ends up pulling it out of my grasp and looks at it. She rips my sleeve up and uncovers the scars I've been keeping for years. All the way up my arm.

G: why.

I don't answer her.

G: we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.

I still don't answer her.

G: I'm flushing your razors.

L: no please.

G: you can watch me do it. Or you can answer me.

I don't answer her.

G: right, if your not gonna speak, I'm gonna get all your razors, chuck them in the bin and I'm gonna do it right in front of you.

L: I'm not talking.

She pulls out her secret weapon. My phone.

G: if you don't speak I'm calling your mum to tell her.

I stare right at her.

G: 1...2...3...4...fi-

L: Fine!

G: speak.

L: what do you wanna know?

G: when did you last do it.

L: last night.

I stare at the ground ashamed.

G: when last night.

I keep staring at the ground. She bends down and lifts my chin up.

G:when?

I refuse to answer. She tries a different question.

G: how long?

L: since sophomore

G: why?

L: was bullied.

I look down at the ground.

G: that it?

L: y-yep

G: so how come your still cutting now?

I don't answer, I just look at the ground. I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders, and Gabbies body heat against mine.

G: you can talk to me.

L: I know.

I feel her hands leave my shoulders and she walks towards the bathroom. I jump up and chase her.

L: no, no, no please.

G: it's very easy to relapse.

L: no.

I see her check every crevice there is. She has a collection of my razors, and is still looking. She finds another 2, then looks up at me.

G: anymore?

L: *gulp* no.

G: where are they?

L: not saying.

I look behind me, then regret it immediately.

G: thank you.

She find it on the side of the door frame.

G: are there anymore?

L: no.

G: are you lying?

L: no

G: look at me Elizabeth Shaila Koshy. Are there anymore?

L: no.

G: fine, I'll stop harassing you. But I'm not gonna be happy if there is anymore.

L: ok.

She lent in for a hug. I hugged her back.

G: *whisper* love you