Defending Herself

Chapter 3

Today I went and got a job at Red Lobster since it pays really good there. I also do get a little help from my best friend Cameron.

He is also only 8 minutes away so he comes and visits often. I just finished my day at work so I jumped on the couch and watched tv.

I'm also going to karate lessons every week so I can learn how to fight. It's only been a month since my parents funeral and let me tell you I'm still depressed as ever.

When I have time to think about it I can't help but go straight to my razor.
I'm getting pretty used to that thing now. It's a bad addiction. I feel the urge to do it again when I hear the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it" I whisper to myself since there's no one else here.

I look through the peephole and see Cameron. I turn off the alarm and unlock the door. Yes I am now very protective over myself. And yes I know that sounds weird.

"Hey Cam" I say and give him a weak smile.

"Hey Paige" he says and gives me a smile.

"Come in" I say and motion him to come inside.

He walks in and sits on the couch. I go and sit next to him.

"Here is some money I have for you" he says and hands me a hundred.

"Thanks Cam" I say and hug him.

"So how are you?" He asks.

"Um.. I'm fine" I say trying to put on a smile.

"Paige you and I both know that when people say 'fine' then it means you feel beyond terrible" he says giving me sympathetic eyes.

I sigh and start to tear up.

"Your right Cam I'm a mess" I say and cry on his shoulder.

He hugs me and I wince in pain because I made new cuts a couple days ago. I guess he sees me and gives me a look.

"Paige please don't tell me you do that."

I turn my face away so he can't see my eyes. He pulls up my sleeves and sees my cuts. He stares at me and tears roll down his cheek.

"Please Paige, I know so much is happening with you right now, but please, for me don't do this" he whispers and sobs quietly.

"Cam I can't help it, when I start to think I get all these voices in my head, and telling me that I should feel guilty about all this, and I can't help but do this" I say while crying.

"Paige I'm always gonna be here for you, I will come over everyday, and you can come anytime you want, just please don't think about doing this to yourself, for me, and please don't feel like this should be your fault because it isnt" he says while his eyes stare into mine.

I nod because I know that I can argue about this forever and I know that it is my fault. But I am thankful that I have Cam. I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.

I hug him and say "thanks Cam."

"Anytime."

"Do you want to order pizza?" I ask.

"Obviously" he says and we both laugh.

We order pizza and talk until I hear the door bell ring. I get out money to pay for the pizza when cam gives the guy money and takes the pizza.

"Cam you didn't have to do that" I said.

"I know but I wanted to" he says while smile.

I smile back and we start eating pizza.
He stays the night and we just watch movies all night. I wish it could be summer forever.