Happy's Flabulous Adventures

Chapter 2: Cactus flappers

The name makes no sense and has nothing to do with the story.

Remember to read or imagine Morgan freeman is narrating and telling you this story because his voice is dah so damn sexai (Asian sassy voice)

POV of happy the sexy blue cat who can count to 78 with his calculator aka his fingers.

Ok ok ok. Now you met everyone and their appropriate, PG rated characteristics. Momma Lucy just gave me shower. She gave me the bath just hot momma human bathes with baby human that's like I don't know...14 or 6 years old. (Humans are weird) she put the shampoo on my head and scrubbed my shiny blue fur to shiny blue fur. My fur is the so damn sexy. Did I ever mention I was in Weekday Exceed's sexiest cat who every girl would want? I'm that popular ok back to the bath. I played with the boats pretending to nuke Hawaii and eat all the fish. I like taking baths because it reminds me that fish live in water and how I like to eat fish. Don't judge me. My mom says I'm "one of a kind", but my dad says that I'm "special" as in Super Parenting Eating Indian Apples Late_and_education whatever that means. I don't know what that means...stupid Wikipedia that doesn't exist 67 thousand years ago....

Ok so Wendy was like in her room doing her hair and preparing his speech for world domination (she saved the world from the fire nation so president Obama Romney presented her one day of free law, basically doing whatever she wants...) and other things blue haired girls do... (Humans are one of kind just how I am super special in a careful special way.

So at dinner time I ate fish and created the first flying CACTUS. I'm a genius also according to fairy tail the flabulous guild. I'll explain how it works and how I tested my invention of destruction. Ok I'll first explain where I Got the idea...

One day we went some desert and it was hot. Daddy-O was like trying to eat the flames of the sun, Wendy was saving the world with her death pokes of doom, mom got tired...Auntie Mira told me "you want a drink little boi?" Oh damn how she addressed me and said "boi", I couldn't say no to that! So I replied "no" but she didn't care because she was going crazy from dehydration. So she cut open a cactus and drank the juice and started to yell "MY BODY IS READY" but I got the idea when she sliced off the cactus top and it flew over and hit natsu in the butt. He screamed and slipped and fell on lucy's...pinkie. Then I realized, as dictator Wendy's older brother, I knew how to make the deadliest and child safe weapon.

So a few days later when mom and dad were having their official wrestling competition in bed (humans are weird), I got a cactus, used Wendy's super magical powers (she used her pinkie) and molded the cactus into a ball. Here's the best part. I chucked it into a window and I heard the screams of my parents. That's how I created my friendly weapon that is approved my Mr Krabs. Now selling at the krusty krab.

Ok ok I'll start getting with the good parts Instead of my creativity and random moments of life.

So uh one day Wendy was eating her bread, mom was eating her bread, Mira was eating the orange peel skin, and dad was eating his fire (Hawaiian circus hobby addiction). Later that day mom wanted to go to the park and do some weird human stuff to be a not normal family. So as we were walking we saw "it". The girl who we called OWMERRGAWD ITS THE GIRL WE CALL BITCH, HELP ME MY EYES HAVE AIDS NOW. She stared at auntie with her pedo eyes and nose and ears and shoes. Damn we head an epic stare off until my dad yelled "WHAT SHOULD WE DO SIRI! SEARCH UP HOW TO DEFEAT the girl we call OWMERRGAWD ITS THE GIRL WE CALL FEMALE DAWG, I STILL HAVE AIDS IN MY EYES" Siri said nothing because Siri sucks monkey balls. So we still had a stare off with that epic pokemon battle music played by one republic. So that's when mah mom search up "How to prevent aids in your eyes when you look at OWMERRGAWD ITS THE GIRL WE CALL BISH, I might get a seizure now!" One of results said "don't look at her in her eyes" so we did that. Dad kept screaming "OWMERRGAWD MY EYES STILL HAVE AIDS! PROFESSOR PH.D DOCTOR HAPPY WHO FOUND THE CURE TO HEADACHES, WHAT DO WE DO!" So Wendy picked up a rock and chucked it at the unidentified pokermon. Then the thing died instantly. Wendy became a hero. One direction retired and started a restaurant calls "Mokey Dookeys I want you pinkie". Happy's creativity hurts now. And that's why we call Wendy "Earthland's super hero"

Based on a true story with Michael Phelps.