Little White Lies

Chapter 4
Alex: Seventeen years earlier

“Son, this isn’t an easy decision to make, but your mother and I have decided to get a divorce.” His voice cracks, and he looks away from me.

I’m sitting against my headboard, unable to move. What. Did. He. Just. Say?

“Alex, we want only the best for you, baby. And dad and I don’t think being together is best for you. We don’t want you to resent us
for anything, but there’s something else you need to know.” She glances over to my father.

“No, Bridgette, he doesn’t need to know that right now. We’ll tell him another time-“

“-Raymond, you have to tell him right now, or I will, and it’s not going to be pretty for anyone.” She’s frustrated, and I’m still glued to my headboard.

My father looks at me apologetically, “Alex, I’ve made a terrible mistake, son.” He looks down at his feet.

“Daddy, what did you do?” I say, my voice cracking against my tears.

He doesn’t say anything. My mother takes both my hands in hers and she kisses my palms as her tears trickle down our fingers.

“Your father has another baby.” she says calmly.

First of all, I don’t really know where babies actually come from, but I know when my mother was having me, her tummy was big, like she had a basketball under her shirt. She showed me a picture once. My eyes fall to her tummy, it doesn’t look like there’s a baby in
there. She’s not fat like she was in the picture.

“But...you don’t have a big tummy.” I point to her tummy.

She starts sobbing into my lap and my father pulls her to him. He cradles her while she cries. I start crying too, because I have no idea what’s going on. This is too much for a five-year-old boy to process.

“How does Daddy have a baby? Only mommies can have babies. Is Daddy a mommy?”

“No, Alex.” My mother laughs. “Daddy gave another mommy a baby.” she says pulling away from him.

“Oh. So where is the baby?” I ask, smiling.

“You can’t see the baby, Alex. The baby’s mommy has to tell her husband that it’s his baby. But it’s not his baby, its Daddy’s baby.” My mother says.

“So she has to lie?” I put my hands over my mouth.

“It’s a good kind of lie, Alex, but it’s only because you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. It’s called a white lie.” My
mother looks up at me, and my father walks out of the room. I didn’t even notice that he was crying.

“You’re only five, Alex. You don’t understand everything yet. Just know that Mommy and Daddy love you very much, and we didn’t
mean for any of this to happen okay?” She kisses my forehead and pulls the covers over me.

When she leaves my room, I adjust
myself on my pillow and I think; next year, when I’m six, I’m gonna understand everything. I’m gonna understand more than everything. I wonder if my father’s baby will like me. He might not want to meet me or play Lego’s with me. I wonder if babies can play Lego’s.

Do I call my father’s baby my brother? What if my father’s baby is a girl? I don’t like girls. But maybe I will like her; my father’s baby. I fall asleep, not understanding anything.