Underground producer

Chapter 27

That night I created 3 songs  that reflected my inner state and listening to that hurt me even more. The feelings were so real when they were wrote in lines and accompanied by melodies. As a songwriter and producer you are good when you can put your vision into a song that becomes real but what we all fear is write something that is too personal. It does make you vunerable and imagening putting these notes out means that you might be facing these feelings on each occasion. Usually I would be a coward and hide these songs in a file but the message was too important. One of the lines described it all too well " Why do you let them be shot down when they were fighting in your war..". What if these songs need to be heard now by all the people out there but I was unsure whether my bosses would release something like this. After what Simon told me I felt that he might fire me if I show him these songs but I was sure that Jay might stand behind me. I glanced over to the clock on the wall and saw that it was 4am in the morning. I walked over to the couch and fell asleep there but my night was pretty restless.

I woke up at 8am and got ready for work. The bags under my eyes were huge so I decided to cover them up with tinted glasses. I wore all black, a mask and a cap and hailed a cab to work. I did not even bother to call Mr.Won or wake up Haon. My mind was busy and I would be a very unpleasant person to be around so I decided to stay alone as far as possible for today. As I reached the office I was lucky that just the admin staff was there and the rest was not in yet. I decided to work in the guest studio since I did not have my own. The equipment was not the best but I could work on my songs in peace. I put on headphones and started working. Hours passed and I was able to finish off 2 big projects and the file with the songs that I made caught my attention. My phone was ringing and I glanced over to see that Yoongi was calling me but I was not picking up. All of BTS and GOT7 tried to reach me but I was not ready to talk to them yet. I felt guilty for the headlines and ruining their career. I felt my vision blur slightly and explained it with the lack of food and liquid I consumed over the last hours. I slowly stood up and went over to the little fridge and took out 3 bottles of water and decided to drink those before getting food.

I took a seat on the couch and took my notebook and wrote down some lyrics to the songs that needed some. The door opened but I was too immersed into my lyrics that I did not even pay attention to who it was.

" How long have you been here? Why did you not come to work in my studio? This equipment here is so crappy. GRAIL? Are you ok?", Gray asked me to which I nodded.

" It is enough for me. I was here since 9am. So if you would excuse me...", I said bluntly.

" GRAIL what...?", Gray started to ask me worried but stopped as soon as Simon walked in.

" Gray what are you doing here? Oh Grail how are you doing?", Simon asked me while scrolling through his phone.

I scoffed and said sarcastically: " I am doing my job".

He looked up and Gray seemed confused at the scence in front of me. To my dismay Jay also joined on the fun.

" Grail why did you not pick up your phone? I texted you like a billion time", Jay scolded me.

I looked at him and smiled weakly: " I was immersed in work and that was not work related PD-nim".

Jay was speechless at my words.

" Would you excuse me please.. I", I said as I stood up but stopped as my vision became blurry but I composed myself in time and made it to the main producer chair and took a sip from my water.

" Fine. Let us give her some room", Simon said and shuffled all of them out.

I sat there and fighted the dizzyness but then the door opened again and closed right after. I heard foot steps approach me and a chair being pulled next to me and someone patting my shoulder.