Plus Sized Beauty.

t e n.

SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE. xx

As I see Liam walk into his house and turn around and wave a goodbye at me, I start to drive back home. I feel this electric anxiety as I walk into my house, my dad in sitting on the couch with his Ipad in front of his face, and I just stand in the shadows on the hallway and look at my father. His graciousness and his aura of authority is something that not many people get to bestow in their lifetime. I think that's what my Mom and him had so in common, they both had this fire in their eyes, a dream. I can only wish to have such determination. I think he felt me staring at him because he turns around and gives me his award winning Colgate smile, and I walk into the living room, and sit next to him on my mothers favorite couch. He puts his arm around me and I lean into this hug, memories of how many times he has hugged me this way on this couch run through my mind, "He seems nice" all he said, and I can only feel my smile get bigger, "He is nice, Mom once told me to look for someone with kindness in their eyes, and he has that. I know you saw that" and he chuckles and I lay in his fatherly hug as he kisses the top of my head, "oh, you sound so much like your Mother" with the deepest of love and sadness in this voice. And my Dad, one of the wealthiest people in all of Europe, a business man who is respected by many, yet he is so alone and sad because he can't share his wealth and success with the women he loved and will love until his dying breath.

"Sorry for not mentioning him before. I just wasn't sure how to tell you and if I should ..." I trail off because I feel bad for springing this on him. His arm around my shoulders tightens and I feel so safe, there's nothing like the safety you feel in your fathers arms. "Its fine, I mean. It was bound to happen, and yes, I can see he's a good guy in his eyes. You know? He has eyes that are so similar to your grandma's. Her pure honey brown eyes, yeah, that's who he reminded me of. It caught me off guard but now thinking about it, that's who. You're Abuela." And I can only smile at the memories I have of my Grandma and her sarcastic jokes. When we lived in Spain I would be able to spend every available moment with her, she looked so much my mom I was almost frightening. But the kindness in their eyes was something that made you feel secure and loved instantly. "Just take your time, ok? I know you and you're not one to fall into things so quickly so I'm not too worried, but still. Just take care of your fragile heart Juls." And I could only tug myself deeper into his hug.

"I'm going to go upstairs and do my homework, I've got tons of it" I say as I stand up from the couch. "Ok, honey bunny" he says as he calls me by the nickname that I'm not very fond of, joking with me. As I walk upstairs to my bedroom, I look back at him with my Mothers picture, her smiling face caught perfectly in front of the sunshine from the beach view behind her. Her eyes have this sparkle in her eyes, she sitting on a cliff right on the edge overlooking the clear crystal blue water laughing at something. And I'm amazed at how this picture clearly portrays my mother, and her effortless beauty. My father running his finger over her face, a beautiful sadness that I can relate to. "I know you're taking care of her, amor mio." He says to the picture, and I can feel the tears burning in the back of my eyes.

I miss her so much.

I watch as my father hugs that framed photograph to his chest and lies back in that oceanic colored couch, remembering the love that was taken from him.