Random Little Things

Female Roles and Such

Okay, so I want to talk about a couple of different issues here, which are both far more serious than I usually post, but I want to put them here anyway. I, personally, think people need to think about, discuss, and form solid, scripture based opinions on these matters, so I want to encourage that. I also need to rant, because these things are really frustrating me.😬

Before we get started, please note that this might offend some people, so be aware. And also, feel free to let me know your opinions on these couple of topics! Don't worry, I won't freak out and get all upset if you disagree. Unlike some people, I am willing to tolerate other people's opinions, not simply demand that they tolerate mine.😉

Also, this is probably going to be very long, so be advised. 😄

Alright, on with the show......

The first thing I want to talk about is the ideas of virginity and purity. Most of us (especially girls) who grew up in church have probably heard these two words put together A LOT.

We also get told that if we "loose our virginity" we, in a sense loose our "purity" (particularly our purity for our future husband).

But is this true? I mean, obviously we should not fornicate, Paul makes that clear. But we can be a virgin in every respect ever, and still not be pure. Purity is something that comes from Jesus's sacrifice for us, whether we are virgin or not. So why do we equate virgin and pure in Christianity? 

Also, the "purity" idea is kind of counter productive, for two reasons.

First, it bombards young people with sex. Sure, it's telling them not to do it, but how often do people go and do what you told them not to, just to see what would happen? Here's the hard truth: if you fill somebody's mind with something, whether you're sighting the pros or cons, their focus is going to be on that. 

And second, what if somebody does "loose their virginity?" Then what? Well, some girls feel that they are "damaged goods" and will either decide to just go all the way, or they will settle for somebody who is NOT good for them, but they think it's their only choice. And some girls didn't have a choice about the matter, so let's not judge them for somebody else's sin.

Also, the focus is always on saving yourself for your husband. What if a girl doesn't ever want to get married? Then is she free to do whatever she wants?

So, maybe instead of the whole "purity class/purity ring" stuff, why not we focus on keeping ALL of ourselves pure for Jesus's sake, not for our future husbands (which we may or may not have), and on the fact that, if mistakes have been made, his grace covers that, if we confess, or agree with Jesus about, our sins? Because the Bible says that our sins--ALL OF THEM--are, first off, separating us from God, and secondly payed for completely.

Now, please don't get me wrong on this: fornication is wrong, and I am not saying, "do whatever you want, because grace is your safety net." I'm saying, we need to extend mercy and the message of forgiveness to people who have made mistakes, rather than playing the scarlet letter routine. 

Alright, on to the subject of the title: a woman's role.

Am I the only one sick of the idea that a woman's only possible role is just to stay home and cook and clean and pop out babies? And just as frustrating is the idea that every woman should be an independent raging feminist.

Being a stay at home mom is a great thing, and if that is a woman's personal calling, then by all means, go for it, girl! And being single and not having a man in your life is great too, if that is what God has planned for your life.

But PLEASE! Not every person has the same calling in life! I mean, my dad works at a sawmill, but I don't think that every man is obligated to work at one, and I'm not going to judge somebody because they decided to become a car mechanic, or a salesperson, or a truck driver. 

Some people will argue that it's different, and that a man's career choice is a completely different situation than whether a woman gets married, because a man is supposed to be the provider of his family. And this is true. Ideally, the man should be the provider. But that doesn't mean that a woman can't provide, or that she can't be single or independent.

A woman shouldn't "need" a man, just like a man shouldn't "need" a woman. And they should not enter a relationship until they are able to take care of themselves, via a solid relationship with God.

In fact, if you want to have a good, stable relationship, both partners should be capable on their own, but also willing to rely on their partner. I mean, girls, we wouldn't really want a guy who couldn't do anything for himself. Relationships--any relationships--are give and take on both sides. 

So, a woman should neither be a doormat, nor an empress who dictates everything to her husband.

And if she wants to be single and/or have a career, why not? Lidia had a career, as does the woman in Proverbs 31. And in a culture where it is possible, being a single woman isn't an issue, any more than a single man is an issue.

Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church, and many will take this to mean that the wife must do whatever the husband says.

NOT TRUE!

Our husbands are not God, and will thus not always be right. WE HAVE DO DISCERN WHEN IT HE IS OBEYING GOD HIMSELF! We can't blindly follow him wherever he goes, because we are meant to be his helper. How are you supposed to help him, if you won't be willing to tell him (kindly) when he is wrong? Just like you wouldn't want to let your husband walk out of the house without pants, you shouldn't be content to let him do things that are biblically wrong, just because he's your husband. It is your job to let him know, just like it's his job to let you know. 

So, in conclusion:

 You are beautiful in your own right, and are able to handle life as a single woman, if that is your calling. Don't worry that God is angry with you for not being married and having kids. 

And if you're married, GOD DOES NOT EXPECT YOU TO BE YOUR HUSBAND'S SLAVE!! You are meant to be his helper, his encourager, his support, not his robot. And really, you wouldn't want to be married to somebody who acted like that, either. 

Yikes. That is long, convoluted, and pretty confusing. If anybody wants to talk about this stuff, I'm open! Whether you think I'm wrong or right. 

So with that, I end my ranting and bid you all farewell for now. Hopefully this was helpful, or at least made you think a little....