Hate to Say I Told You So

Chapter Fifteen

After dinner, I tried Heather's advice by calling Ross. He never picked up, and it went to voicemail. I decided to pull a Ross and try writing him a note. I wasn't going to give up until Ross at least became my friend again.

"Ross- I just wanted to point out that you ran away this time. I get why you did, and you had every right to, but I just wish you would hear me out. I like spending time with you, and I know you want more than just being friends, but I just don't know. I'm so sorry, Ross. I never wanted to hurt you; I just needed to figure stuff out. I still don't know how I feel about where this is going according to you, and I'm sorry I don't have the same way with words as you do, but, I guess the point of all this is that I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me, but please talk to me, Ross. I can't lose both you and Collin. I know he's gone, and most likely not coming back. Just please talk to me and hear me out. Please. –Belle."

I had to look up their house number in the school newsletter they published every month since they moved after the student directory came out. Telling my mom I wanted to study at the library, I slipped out and hunted for his house.

He lived more on the outskirts of Elm's View, just a few blocks from school. He'd so gone out of his way to walk me home all those times. Every so often, I wanted to turn back, but then I tried to think about life without Collin and Ross. Nope, that seemed worse than this walk. I needed him to hear me out. I guess in this case he would more of read me out. Ross just needed to know all of the things that were in the letter, and I knew he wasn't going to talk to me until he did.

I had butterflies as I walked up his driveway, and I kept looking at the paper in my hand to make sure I had the right address. They had a quaint little brick split level and it looked like somewhere Ross Douglas would live. I almost turned back, but I knew that if I didn't do this now, I'd never get this note to him.

I rang the bell and someone who looked like his mom answered after a minute. Same water blue eyes. I guess Ross had spoken about me. Or she had heard it in his sleep talking.

"I'm guessing you're Isabelle, Ross talks about you all the time." She smiled. Same wide, Cheshire cat grin. She looked behind her shoulder quick a minute, "I'm sorry, but Ross isn't here. He's at the bookstore doing homework." I thought I had heard a door closing up the stairs, but I could have dreamed it.

I came to my senses and remembered how to talk, "That's okay," I smiled back, Heather had inherited her hair from their mother, she was beautiful, "I just wanted to drop this off for Ross. Oh, and it's Isa, not Isabelle." I handed her the paper in my hand. I tried to look past her and see if I could spot Ross, but he seemed to be nowhere in the house.

To the right of the front door seemed a sort of living room, I couldn't see very far into it, but I could tell that Ross' mom worked as some sort of artist. Their kitchen seemed straight down a hall way after one half staircase going to an upper level, and another just beyond that going down. Their kitchen walls had a happy yellow paint with dark brown tiles. Somehow, the Douglas family had made it work.

"Aw, isn't that sweet, you two writing notes to each other all the time." I guess she missed the memo that her son hated my guts, "I'll make sure he gets this, Isa."

"Thanks, Mrs. Douglas." I turned to leave, but she stopped me.

"Isa, you can just call me April, like Collin does. I'm not too fond of getting called 'Mrs. Douglas.'" She put a smile on her face, "It makes me feel old."

"Okay." I returned her smile, "Bye, Mrs. Douglas," I pulled a face, "I mean, April."

She just laughed, "You'll get used to it, I promise. Bye, Isa." I turned to leave and she closed the door.

So she planned on seeing me later? Did Ross confide in her at all about letting the past go and having some form of communication with me? She didn't even know about what happened at the dance, by the sound of it, or that Collin and Heather weren't together anymore. So many questions in my mind when it came to Ross, and I hoped that I could ask them some day. The biggest question was, what secret did Ross keep from me about his parents? And why? He knew I had family issues as well, with fathers in particular. Guess he didn't want to be friends with me after all. Friends shared things with each other, more so when it's something they have in common, like coming from less than desirable home lives. At the same time, it explained why Ross knew what to do and how to react when I told him about my dad. It helped clarify why he wanted to make sure I felt okay the night my parents fought. I wrote it off as his feelings for me, but now I knew it as more, and that somehow made me want Ross to forgive me that much more.