Hate to Say I Told You So

Chapter Twenty Four

The next day, I called Ross and asked him to meet me at The Corner Café. Collin hadn't lied. I hadn't slept the night before, and I knew it wouldn't get better. Collin had left the kit in my care along with explicit instructions to call him either way when I got home.

Ross had beaten me to the coffee shop and waited for me outside. My heart pitter pattered just seeing him in this light gray T-shirt he'd worn a million times before.

"Hey, you," He said with a smile as he kissed me.

"Hi," Was all I could manage. I wrapped my arms around my neck to hug him, and he let out a surprised laugh as he hugged me back.

We stayed quiet as we ordered, paid and found seats. I knew I had to tell Ross, and I couldn't contain my fear. I cared about him so much, and I knew telling him the truth would destroy him. I didn't want to see him fall out of love with me. My palms sweat like mad, and rubbing them off on my shorts just made it worse. I could feel gross pit stains growing in my shirt, thankful that I had been smart and worn a dark color.

The barista called out our drinks and Ross jumped up to grab them. Once he sat back down he reached across the table to take my hand. "Look, if this is about what I said last night, it's one of those 'sorry not sorry' situations. I'm sorry it made you feel awkward, but I'm not sorry I said it. I know it sounds stupid, but after what happened with my parents, I didn't believe in love. Then I met you." He sighed, just a little bit, "I love you, Isabelle."

Stab and twist. "No it's not that." I could feel my throat closing off. "I have something I need to tell you, and I'm just scared it will change your mind."

Ross sat up straighter out of concern, "Is everything okay? Is it your dad?"

"No, everything there is fine." I tried to take a deep breath and squeezed his hand. "It's just, after the dance drama happened and the stuff with Collin and Heather blew up we-" I couldn't even say it.

"'We' meaning you and Collin, I assume." Ross' voice turned dark. A stark difference in tone from his previous statement.

I nodded, taking a deep breath, "After all of that happened, Collin got super confused, and not thinking straight, and he kissed me." I saw Ross' mouth tug down at the corners, "I sort of kissed him back, but I thought of you, and how I would rather be kissing you, and then I pushed Collin away. We both regret it, it's never happened again, and it never will happen again, I swear."

I held his hand in both of mine, but Ross' felt more like a dead fish and he just looked at me with that same look on his face. My worst fear happened right in front of my eyes, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I shifted in my chair, feeling awkward and not wanting to look at Ross anymore, "Will you please say something? Anything at all? Grunt? Cough? Something? If you don't, I'll just keep on talking."

"I can't. Not right now. I can't- I can't process this. I, um, I think I need to be alone." Ross picked up his barely touched coffee cup, got up from the table, and left the shop. My hands felt cold with out his, and I drew my knees into my chest. The emptiness of the coffee shop felt welcomed, because no one other than the barista saw me in my misery. It felt like my whole world had crumbled, and I couldn't do anything about it.

...

When I got home a while later, Collin sat on the front stoop. He stood when he saw me and gave me a hug.

"I don't mean to scare you, Heather and I saw Ross. He didn't say anything to me, my first clue, and then he shot me a look of death. I figured from those it didn't go too well." He wrapped his arms around me in a hug, "I'm here for you this time, Belle. I promise."

My mom saw my face when I walked in the door, and the fact that I had Collin with me and not Ross.

"Isa, what happened?"

"I think Ross and I just broke up."

My mom dropped her busywork and came to give me a hug, "Honey, I'm so sorry. Was it because of what you told him? What did you tell him, anyway?"

"It's my fault, Mrs. Bryant." Collin cut in.

Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew my mom had a confused look on her face, "How so?"

Collin cleared his throat, his nervous tell, "Well, before Heather and I got together and Belle started dating Ross, I kissed her, and she just told him."

"But I thought you said he loved you." My mom looked mega confused, it surprised she still spoke about Ross even though Collin had just admitted to kissing me.

"I guess not anymore." And with that, I fell apart.

...

Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink cushioned this heartbreak. I couldn't even pay attention to Jon Cryer singing "Try A Little Tenderness." Despite the couple-ish nature, Collin let me put a pillow in his lap for my head, and he stroked my hair as I tried not to cry.

What could I do? Ross hated me now, that felt certain. I could see him now, scribbling in his thick, black notebook, finishing that "Belle" poem with words of complete and total hate. I didn't think he could love me after that. He hadn't for very long, so it wouldn't take him long to fall out of it, right?

Then it hit me.

The notebook. It would give me everything I needed, Ross treated his poetry like a diary. And I just needed to steal it.

Despite the fact that Molly Ringwald had already made her statement dress, I made Collin rewind to the movie store scene.