Hate to Say I Told You So

Chapter Two

Collin met me at The Corner Café to do homework on later that afternoon. He looked as if he had just woken up, brown eyes all squinty and un -focused.

"Must. Have. Coffee." Collin chanted while opening the door for me.

One of his baseball buddies worked as the barista that afternoon. The two of them broke into a conversation about the new girl who would show up on Monday, placing bets on who would ask her out first and who she would say yes to. Then they got logical.

"Wait, we don't even know if she's hot yet." Colin pointed out.

"She's from the city. They don't let unattractive people in. It's like the law or something." Collins friend Evan replied. I bit my tongue to keep myself from pointing out their logical fallacies, while knowing Evan knew better than that. He had a girlfriend, after all. I just grabbed my coffee, sat at a table and got started on my geometry homework while noticing how good Collin's backside looked in his new jeans.

He leaned against the counter in this tired, carefree manner. Collin looked like the epitome of confidence. Whenever he wasn't talking, he had this smile that said, "I know I look good," even if just Evan saw it, whom I knew had a girlfriend.

Halfway through my geometry, Collin shuffled over and pushed a table against mine. Collin gulped his coffee, longing for the caffeine to kick in.

"I'm going to regret that later." Collin laughed and patted his stomach.

I'd finished all of my homework other than geometry the night before, which I finished just after Collin sat down. Bringing out my chemistry textbook, I flipped thought without reading it while watching Collin with care.

The way he sat hunched over his paper, forehead in hand. He held his pen like a five year old would, and he bit the inside of his lip, like he did when he thought hard. I tried to take a peek at his work on when he burst out with:

"Yo Evan! What did you get for number 20?" Since there still wasn't anyone in the shop besides Collin and me, Evan came over. I read a magazine the rest of the time we were there.

...

"So are you looking forward to our little hunting trip tomorrow?" Collin asked as we walked back to my place. I had spent over an hour going over my notes for classes over and over again as Collin went through his homework, having Evan come over when the shop stayed slow enough for him to stay a while.

He spoke of the hunting trip that Finn, my dad (if he stayed sober enough) Collin, Mr. Lang and I took every year a few weeks after opening day for deer season. One of my dad's few and lame attempts at bonding, and one of the few times he tried. These trips seemed nice when my dad seemed like the best thing ever. He used to be so busy with his job that this became the one of the few times he spent time with me. However, as I got older I started to see through my dad and realize his problem, so now I just went hang out with Collin and Mr. Lang, not to mention how attractive Collin looks with his muzzleloader. I just sleep or read and used it as an excuse to hang out with Collin. The boys always hunted together a few times during the season, but they still let me come on this trip for some unknown reason.

"Yeah, I guess. If my dad is in a good mood it shouldn't seem too bad." I replied.

"And if he is, you'll just come and call for me. Problem solved." Collin put his arm around my shoulders.

In all honesty, I dreaded tomorrow. The sight and smell of dead deer made me sick. Not to mention that Finn still ate up the opportunity to spend time with my dad. It wasn't that I discouraged them having a relationship, but it made me concerned that Finn might become even more blind to our dad's problem or, even worse, think how much my dad drank seemed normal. Finn may have just turned 13, but I'd figured out my dad by than age.

My mom concerned me more than Finn. As a grown woman, she ignored my dad's problems. I appreciated the fact that she tried not to bring us into their fights or make us choose sides, but somehow that fed Finn's illusion of our father's normalcy. They could get loud when they fought, but Finn often acted like nothing happened. Our parents' marriage would come to an end, but it felt like the sole person in the world who knew it. I had to spend the entire day tomorrow with my family, and feed into the illusion. The sole redeeming factors would end up spending hours with Collin and seeing him with that gun.

Maybe it wouldn't end up so bad after all. I could just spend time with Collin and let go for a day. I could act normal for one day.