little poems

1am breakdown

is it possible to miss someone before you have even said goodbye?
i spend too much time fretting about what is ahead of me than what happens where i am
i tighten my already iron grip on the three of them until its suffocating
i see the shock in their eyes as they see me as someone foreign to them, not the me they knew
i keep their bodies with me, on the brink of leaving me but not quite, still breathing
either way i let them go, as i can not hold on forever
they either lose all breath in my company and fade away, or they leave me
receive my phone calls at inconvenient times
say "ill call later"
and they really do mean it, they will, but life is so hectic and they forget
and eventually i get tired of hearing the beep for voicemail
knowing they mean well but also knowing that the portion of their life that was mine just got a whole lot smaller
so ill keep gripping them, vice-like
but my hand hurts as much as my heart does and its getting tired