Kingdom of Lies

Chapter 20

Sunrise has always been my favourite time of day.

The silence of a world that hasn't been awoken. The cold blue light that holds the promise of a new day.
Of a new beginning each morning, swearing you that you made it. That you had survived the perils that leak out of those ink black shadows of the night, and that your skin will feel the warmth of the sun again.
It's a promise that you would survive to see the rest of the day, that the world is waiting to greet you once more.

It's cold on the white painted patio I sit in, wrapped in a shawl as I stare through the hundreds of roses in the massive garden in front of me.
Far in the distance, the mountains of Idris hide the oncoming sun from me, though I know it's there.

Last time I was here had been what feels like an eternity, Isabelle had pulled me away from wedding plans to drink away the afternoon with the expensive bottle of the pink berry drink she had stolen, the sweet rosy taste of it still familiar to my tongue.
The garden had been filled with hummingbirds and the singing of conures and mockingbirds filling the air with lovely music.

Though now, sitting in a simple cotton white dress and a thick shawl wrapped around my shoulders, the world doesn't make a single sound.

The memories of that lovely day with Isabelle still flit through my mind, reminding me painfully of a time much simpler.
Of a time where I was just an anxious little girl scared to marry her king.

But I am no little girl now.

I'm silent, my fingers curled tight around the fabric surrounding me as I delve into my memories of that night.
It's only been two days, but every single moment rang with the words those people had chorused.

All hail Clarissa Adele Morgernstern, queen of The Morgernstern Kingdom of Idris.

Nothing had been as bittersweet as those words.

I finally got it. I finally got the title of queen I had whispered to myself in the middle of the night while clutching my bruised body with Valentine's knuckles and words still embedded in my skin. Nobody can hurt a queen. Nothing hurts a queen.

But as I stood in front of every single one of those bloody and bruised people on their knees, bowing for me in my own stained gown and cut skin with tears falling freely down my set face, I realised just how wrong I was.

It had taken everything in me not to scream.
To not scream at the title that was supposed to be the greatest gift in the world, but came from death and pain. Oh, so much pain.

Next to none had died in the actual fray, mostly injuries. But oh, I know just how much blood Valentine had consumed, and just how much it had taken to send him toppling down.

So as I look out at the slowly brightening blue of the day, I think of every single who had died for that kingdom.
Who had suffered for that kingdom. For my kingdom.

They deserved better. They deserved so much better than the kingdom they had been forced to offer their people up for. They didn't deserve the mess of the girl who cried for the family she had lost all over again. They deserved a queen.

So I promise it to myself. I promise it to myself that I will be the ruler they've been deprived of for ten years.
I promise it to myself that I will sacrifice what little I have left to give for those people. For my people.

I sit there, as I had been sitting there since the sky had been filled with stars, whispering the same words over and over to myself.

Even as the sun finally peeks over the horizon, the white halo of light topping the mountains burning my eyes as brilliant, brilliant bars of golden light make their way across the world and touch the tips of the hundreds of rose buds that lay at my feet along with the future of my kingdom, I whisper the same promise to myself.