Suffer Well (Sterek)

She knew

A small knock at Derek's door and the scent of his oldest sister sent dread coursing through him. The likely hood that Dominic or Cora didn't say something to Laura was unlikely. She was their alpha and she would have sensed their distress before she stepped into the house.

"Derek, I know you're in there," Laura spoke in a gentle tone.

Derek had always been close with Laura, and evading her only made him feel worse.

Derek opened the door.

"Can we talk?" Laura asked. There was a seriousness to her tone that made Derek nervous.

"Sure," Derek opened his door further, allowing Laura in.

Laura sat on Derek's bed and gestured for him to sit next to her. He hesitated but sat gingerly on the end.

"I heard what happened tonight," Laura spoke in a tone that said she was being his sister and not the alpha.

"I screwed up," Derek sighed, dropping his head.

"Yeah, you did, but I understand why," Laura put a hand gently on Derek's knee, "You can't treat everyone like they're Kate."

Derek slumped his shoulders at the mention of Kate.

"You didn't know she was going to do what she did, you were young, and she was pretty. She knew what she was doing, and she was good at it. You think you're the first person to fall for that? Hunters are ruthless. They-"

"What?" Derek snapped his head up towards his sister.

Laura gave him a soft, sad smile.

Derek's stomach dropped. He knew that look. She knew. She knew the whole thing.

"I don't blame you Derek," Laura reached for her brother's cheek, but he was on his feet and stepping out of reach.

"How long have you known?" Derek's tone was full of betrayal.

"A few days after it happened. I put it together. I blamed Christ Argent. I cornered him. He swore he and his family had nothing to do with it. I could tell he wasn't lying, he was genuinely surprised, but it was too...coincidental. He said he'd talk to his sister, Kate. He was sure she wouldn't do something like this, but she tended to be a wild card. He promised to leave us alone if we promised no one got hurt. Then Amora mentioned her, you said she left and that she hurt you. I knew immediately it was her. And I could tell you grieved more than us, and you smelled of guilt. Everyone else chalked it up to survivors guilt, but I knew better. I waited for you to tell me," Laura explained gently.

Derek fought the tears in his eyes. "Tell you? How could I tell you that I was the reason our family was killed? There were children in that house, Laura. Amber, Jenna, Marcus, they weren't even five yet. Aunt Andrea, Uncle Peter, Aunt Vanessa, Uncle Devin. There were humans in that house. Innocent people died because of me," Derek's fight against the tears was useless. They fell from his sage green eyes in a torrent that could rival a harsh storm.

"Derek, you can't blame yourself. You didn't know. You were young and she was older and pretty and manipulative. I don't blame you and neither does Damon," Laura stood pulling her youngest brother into her arms.

"Damon knows?" Derek sobbed, gripping onto his sister as if she might disappear.

"Yes, you know we tell each other everything. He's been there for me since day one. I may be the alpha, but without him I'd be nothing. We agreed together that if you wanted to tell us, you would. We also agreed not to tell anyone else. Which is why Amora doesn't understand why you're so different. She hates seeing you so alone. We all do," Laura ran a hand through Derek's hair gently. Over and over, as if trying to coax the pain out and away. She hated to see her brother like this. He'd once been so lively and fun. Now he was closed off and sad.

"It's easier this way, no one gets hurt," Derek said around sobs.

"Is it? Look at what happened with Stiles," Laura pointed out carefully.

At that, Derek cried harder. He hadn't cried like this since the fire.

"Talk to me, Der, tell me what's going on?" Laura practically begged. She knew Derek wouldn't talk of his own free will.

"I love him," Derek cried, his words muffled as he buried his face into Laura's shoulder.

Laura was surprised to hear those words. She didn't realize his feelings were so strong for the human.

"Then why?" Laura couldn't understand why he would make it so he could never be with Stiles.

"I can't. I can't let anyone in again. It's too dangerous," Derek shook his head.

Laura pulled Derek back a bit so could see his tear stained face.

"Derek, you can't possibly think Stiles would ever do anything to hurt you. Look at all he's done for you. He checked on you when you were hurt. He was a friend, even when you didn't want one. He accepted who you really are. He didn't once ridicule you for not helping him with Scott. I know that you two made sure you got home safely when Kate got into town. I know he knew about her. And he didn't blame you. He helped you. I know what you guys did. I know how he put his life on the line to keep you safe and to help you deal with her. He still came around even after the incident with Theo. He's never done anything that would suggest that he didn't care about you. He became part of the family," Laura wiped a falling tear from Derek's cheek with her thumb.

Derek wasn't surprised that Laura knew all that. She was the alpha. Not much happened she didn't know about.

"Dominic told me that he cares for you just as much as you do him, so why?" Laura asked.

"I didn't want to hurt him. Amora told me that I was too broken and that whoever I allowed to fix me would get hurt. Stiles wanted to be that person. He told me he would ignore his feelings for me and just be my friend, but I didn't want to hurt him, so I thought if I could make him remember what it was about Dominic that he liked..." Derek trailed off.

"Derek," Laura sighed.

"I know, it was stupid. I should have realized that would hurt him," Derek dropped his head in shame.

"You need to talk to him," Laura said gently, wiping another tear.

"I tried, he won't talk to me," Derek wiped the last of the tears from his eyes, finally having stopped them from falling.

"Give him some time, then try again," Laura pulled Derek in once more. Derek didn't fight. He let his big sister hold him. Alpha or not, he needed someone, and right now that someone was Laura.

*AN*
Sorry it's been so long, I promise to update again soon!