Suffer Well (Sterek)

It's over

Stiles leaned against the door with an exhausted huff. He and Derek had just finished dumping the bodies in the woods and were back at Stiles' house.

"Are you okay?" Stiles asked, looking at Derek. He'd winced several times. The cut on his side clearly hurt.

"I'm fine, anything from Scott?" Derek asked changing the subject.

Stiles nodded, "Deaton was able to reverse the effects of the wolfsbane."

Relief washed over the alpha. He had been concerned for Isaac. He hated to think that someone would die because of him.

"What happened? How did she get you?" Derek asked. He'd avoided bringing it up until now, but it was killing him. How had Kate known to go after Stiles?

"One of her guys recognized me. He saw me leave the station and followed me. We met up with her at Rosano's. He took my phone and..." Stiles trailed off.

Derek smelled the guilt radiating off of Stiles.

"It's not your fault," Derek assured the human.

"If you hadn't picked up on the fact that it wasn't me texting you..." Stiles trailed off again.

"But I did. No harm done," Derek hated that Stiles was blaming himself, "And we got her. It's over." The realization hit Derek suddenly.

"You're right," Stiles dropped his eyes, "it's over."

Derek raised a curious brow at Stiles.

Stiles looked up, giving Derek a forced smile.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked. He would have thought Stiles would be happy.

"Nothing, I'm glad it's over. You must feel some sort of relief, right?" Stiles asked still smiling.

"It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but it is nice," Derek nodded, "I owe that to you, if it weren't for you, I might not have ever been rid of her."

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip but didn't respond. How was he supposed to tell Derek that he didn't want it to be over? Not because he wanted Kate alive or have Derek worry for his family, but because that meant Derek didn't need him anymore, and despite Stiles' best efforts he'd started to develop feelings for the werewolf.

"Listen, Stiles, I know we're not really friends, but I owe you, so if you ever need anything..." Derek trailed off, unsure how to say what he wanted to say.

"You don't owe me, Derek. I didn't do it so that you would be in debt to me. I did it because I wanted to," Stiles sighed. Hearing Derek claim they weren't friends would never not hurt.

"I want you to know... that if I were ever to have one, you'd be the person I'd want as a friend," Derek gauged Stiles' reaction.

Stiles met Derek's eyes with his own. They weren't lively and happy, but tired and sad. "I wish I could say that made me feel better," Stiles sighed.

"I don't want you to take it personal, I just-"

"Have trust issues, refuse to give someone a chance ever again, are afraid of getting hurt?" Stiles cut in, his tone harsher than he intended.

Derek only nodded, sadly.

"I should go see Isaac," Stiles said straightening suddenly.

"He cares for you," Derek said, a hint of jealousy in his tone.

"He's one of my best friends," Stiles shrugged.

"You're his anchor," Derek said dropping his eyes to his feet.

"I'm what?" Stiles frowned at the werewolf.

"He comes to you when he's overwhelmed or needs comfort, you helped him control his shifts. You leave your window unlocked for him," Derek said not meeting Stiles' eyes.

"How do you know that?" Stiles asked, narrowing his eyes at the alpha.

"He told me," Derek answered. He stepped by Stiles then, still refusing to meet his eyes.

"Allison is Scott's. Isaac doesn't have anyone else," Stiles spoke as if he was defending Isaac.

"He's lucky to have you," Derek said grabbing the door knob.

"You have me too, you know," Stiles said causing Derek to pause.

Derek struggled with his thoughts from earlier. Was he ready to let Stiles go? Sure he'd see him again, when Dominic invited him over for dinner.

Derek's pause confused Stiles. He'd been quiet and unmoving for close to thirty seconds, which was a really long time, If you actually stopped to think about it.

"Stiles," Derek turned to Stiles then, a look in his eyes, Stiles hadn't seen before.

"Yeah?" Stiles asked anxiously.

Derek paused again, his green eyes holding Stiles' brown ones in a soft gaze, "Tell Isaac and Scott I said thank you. I'll see you around."

Stiles' heart dropped, "Yeah, maybe." He wasn't sure he could still show up for dinner knowing he and Derek would no longer be friends. Not that Derek considered him a friend, but it had felt that way to Stiles and now, it was over.

Stiles watched as Derek left without another word.

-

Derek took the long way home, he couldn't show up right at dinner smelling like he did. He'd smell of Stiles, for being in his house for hours. He'd smell of relief and content, with Kate dead. He'd smell of frustration and hurt, due to his feelings towards Stiles. He didn't feel like getting the third degree from his siblings.

He'd almost told Stiles that he wanted to be friends, or at least still have Stiles be a part of his life, but he couldn't bring himself to. He was so afraid to trust Stiles enough to let him in, but in truth, he already had. He'd trusted Stiles with his secret about Kate, granted Stiles had figured it out and Derek simply allowed him to help, he'd still allowed Stiles to help. That is something he would never have done. And he'd trusted Scott and Isaac to help him rescue Stiles. But he blamed his wolf for that one. Being an alpha made him possessive of the ones he cared about. Stiles being in danger made him throw caution to the wind. He loved the way Scott and Isaac had claimed him as their alpha, they knew it was only temporary, but it still made Derek feel guilty. Isaac especially. He had no one, and Derek had turned him. Sure he had Stiles, but Derek was his alpha.

Derek kicked his feet along the gravel path. He'd walked, so as to avoid his car being spotted by Kate, and he was glad, it gave him time to think and hopefully give off a different scent by the time he got home.

*AN*
Next chapter is gonna be a fun one. 😊