Crushing Grief (Ben Barlow)

State of Mind

Sofia's POV

"Today's the day," I quietly say to my best friend Ashley. "WE ARE GONNA SEE FUCKING NECK DEEP TONIGHT I'M SO STOKED," Ashley said as she put her bowl of cereal into the sink. I giggle, "god, you are pretty excited aren't you?" i sad. "Aren't you???" she said. "You fuckin kidding. of course," I said.

"Entry is at six, so we better head over there at five," Ashley said.

"ok, sounds good," i said. its about twelve so im just going to hang around for a bit. i thought.

*Four hours later*

Ashleys POV

"GO GET READY," I yelled at Sofia, as she stirred in bed from her nap.

"Fine," she replies.

Sofia's POV.

I rolled out of bed and jumped in the shower for a quick rinse. when I got out I dried my body and I put on some black denim shorts black converse a neck deep shirt and had my hair in a ponytail and did really natural make up (because I'm just going to sweat it off, cmon guys lets be real here.)

Ashley and I jumped into my car and we started driving off to the venue.

20 minutes later we got to the venue and we got into line which wasn't very long luckily.

We got killer spots, we ran our asses inside and got really close to the front.

About half and hour later, almost everyone started cramming into the indoor venue. It was so hot. god.

I quickly pushed my thoughts aside as i saw Dani run onto the stage, along with Fil, Lloyd, Matt, and finally Ben.

god hes so hot i thought. and started laughing.

Our eyes met for a few seconds and then he smiled.

coincidence, i thought.

"OMG HE WAS TOTALLY LOOKING AT YOU," ashley said.

"Sshhhhh," i said back to her.

"HELLO LONDON ARE WE READY TO GET FUCKING CRAZY?????"

Ben yelled.

the croud started going crazy in reply.

Our first song tonight is called "What Did You Expect"

The crowd starts cheering.

"Six months has been and I'm still sick of everything that makes you smile,

I've been here before,

I'm just hoping this will die down

But I've learned from experience

That love is a risk and I'm just hoping you're hearing this,

So maybe you'll know just how it feels to be sitting here,

Wide awake and far from dreaming

Don't tell me that I'll be fine

My broken bones are caving in,

I feel you crawl beneath my skin,

You went and fucked this up

'Cuz you couldn't keep your legs shut

And you'll find me burning bridges,

Searching for some sense of distance,

Tearing out post trauma stitches that held me together,

So far gone my mind is racing,

Back and forth I can't stop pacing,

Thinking where we could have been if you'd just braved the weather

Fuck his car and fuck his money,

He might pay for you but he's got nothing

I won't be in sight when you realize that

I might just have been a more stable support,

To the life that you'll build

When he cuts himself short

Don't tell me that I'll be fine

I'm so sick of hoping you're right

Take all I am,

Tear me into pieces,

Deconstruct my bones and tell me you still don't know who I am

You've got some nerve thinking we could be friends,

Well what did you expect...a fucking compliment?

Bens POV.

I noticed the girl I had been staring at was singing along to every word of the song with tears streaming down her face. It looked like the song really ment something to her.

She was so beautiful. I had to talk to her.

(back to the song)

So take what's left of me,

A broken fragment from before

I guess I'll try to be the best I can without you

I know I'll find myself along this beaten track,

I'll have to let you go

And let these ghosts stay in the past

I guess I'll be fine"

The set continued. and from time to time i caught Ben staring at me. This is insane.

After the concert, barely anyone was there, I saw some friends from high school and we kind of got carried away. I was just about to leave until Dani ran out on stage and said "YOU, YOU THE GIRL WITH THE CURLY HAIR, COME HERE. "

"Holy shit," I whispered to Ashley.

"Go," she murmured back.

"You're coming with me," I said.

"Well?" Dani interrupted.

"Shall we?" I said to Ashley.

This will be interesting, I thought.