My oh secret diary

Going to hell hole

It's August,18,1996

okay guys hey I'm back and it's the first day of school and I'm pretty much feeling alone. I just want to give up and die I do not want to be in school. I have changed over the summer I lost all faith of life,love and everything. I don't understand why I should try anymore I'm all alone in this dark world I have no one left. I have just saw how bad my life really was I have no friend I'm forever alone. I feel like in just 24 hours my life was taken away from me. I lost my best friend someone who I thought I loved and who loved my back but I guess I was wrong. I don't know what to do with my life anymore I know I can disappear and no one would care where I was and I believe that no one wouldn't even remember who I even was. After a half hour bus ride of me listen to my favorite song by sleeping with Sirens I walk off the bus and enter the school and I just think this is just a few hours then I don't have to see them till the next day. I just have to be a big girl and get over it as I enter the band room all I hear is yelling and screaming I walk in to th middle of the room and one off my best friends from last year comes running up to my " omg violet I missed you so much!! She runs up to me and hugs me. I hug her back " I know it's been forever May I missed you so much" I say so sarcastically. May turns around and screams James I turn around and he smiles at me like what happen last year was nothing but it was something. He walks up to me and hugs my and whispers in my ear we need to talk later but then he says loudly so no wonders what just happen how was your Sumer Violet!! We'll be side all the smoking and drinking I did it sucked. Everyone looked at me like I was going crazy so I just left the room like I didn't really care what just happened. It's been 7 hours and I'm heading to the bus when James stops me" Violet we really needs to talk its important that we do.

It is? I say mocking him

Violet I'm not kidding. He says so scared

I finally give in " fine when do u want to meet up "

I'll meet u at your house after school.

Okay see you soon. I say wondering why we needed to talk so bad

So after I get of the bus I see James leaning agents my mom car

Well "hello there"

Can I take you to get a dr pepper

Deal but your paying

No problem.

I get in the house put my bag down and met him out side and we walk to the store and sat on the same side walk where we almost shared are first kiss he grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes and said " I missed you so much and I want you back can you please come back to me" I turn my head away and said I can't I'm a different person then who I was last year I'm not her. I grew up I need someone who really cares about me I'm sorry. He put his drink down and put half his hand on my neck and half on my face and turns my head to look at him and before I could push away he kissed me.

August 19,1996

So it's around 8 at night and school was pretty crazy today all James did was hold my hang and kiss me on the check and every time I told him to stop he would just ignore me. James in getting to clingy and I don't know what to do he's so crazy like all it was was a kiss like grrrr and after that we walked home and his brother came to pick him up like I never said I was his girlfriend or did I. I did drink a little after it happen. But I don't know what too do grrrrr. I couldn't stop thinking about it and James won't stop calling me I don't know what to do should I tell him to back off or something I don't know that's really all I have to say tonight I'm sorry I didn't right much I just don't know what to do I'm just gonna ask my brother because he could tell me a lot. I know my brothers gay but he could still help so I'm gonna call him up and see what he could tell me because i don't know what to do grrrrr well that's its