WALK | Carl Grimes X Boy

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

    TW: POSSIBLE MOLESTATION IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ IT GO PAST THE SECOND PAIR OF **

"What are we?" Carl suddenly asked in the dark room the two had been basically sharing since they moved here. 

"What do you mean?" Cameron asked as Carl continued to stare at Cameron's moon lit face. Carl was quiet for a few minutes. Cameron ran his hand through his thick curls while not looking away from the star-lit sky. That's what he loved most about camping or being at his grandad's farm. The way you could see shooting stars and everything. 
 "Are we just friends? Or are we something else?" 
"Does it matter?" Cameron finally looked at Carl. Carl just shrugged. He wasn't sure what he wanted them to be. He liked what they were now. But he didn't know what they were. Cameron stood up and sat next to Carl.

 "We are alive. We are here together and that's what matters." Carl nodded gently. Cameron pulled the large blanket over them both and laid down next to Carl. 
 "Let's get some sleep. Okay?"
 "Okay." Carl was asleep in thirty minutes but Cameron couldn't get to sleep. The image of seeing his own severed arm was engraved into his eyelids. It almost felt like his left arm was still there. Well technically it still was. The cut was made three inches away from his elbow. He still had his arm just not half his forearm nor did he have his hand, obviously. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else but he would constantly have flashbacks to that day. 

 ** START

By the time he actually went to sleep his dreams were infested as well. But one dream screamed out to him. It was so surreal. So familiar yet so foreign. Cameron seemed to be about four at the time. He saw a man that looked similar to him. The man was standing over Cameron with a board expression. That is until he figured that Cameron was awake. He doesn't remember this at all but his surroundings became clearer. The room was big, marble floors, walls, and celean. He was in a large queen sized bed that was more than comfortable. But then a confused reaction came from tiny Cameron. The man's shirt was now off. The light from outside was really bright so it had to be early afternoon. 

 "Hey Cam-Cam. Wanna play a game?" Little Cameron was oblivious to what bad intentions this man had. It was almost like Present Cameron was seeing from his actual body. He saw his smaller self grinning a little crooked smile, he looked so stoked to play a game with this man. But Present Cameron was uneasy. He started remembering these floors. The silver Castle with a giant red and black dragon next to it. The knights were all over the floor. Even as a child he knew that not all good guys won. Cameron turned and saw his younger self naked with the man sitting next to him. Past Cameron seemed to have so much trust in this man that he didn't think anything bad of this. But Present Cameron could see the uncomfortable emotion on past him's face when the man gently started to touch his thigh. Cameron tried to scream at the man as he continued but the man couldn't hear him. He remembered this. That was his father. 
  ** END

Cameron shot out of bed and started to freak out. A repressed memory had come up. He looked out the window and it was only five thirty maybe six. Tears were pouring down his face as he took ragged breaths. He stood up, still wearing his clothes from yesterday, and got out of the room as fast and quietly as possible. He ran out the house, no shoes on. The sun was barely up and he was breaking down. He'd just lost his arm a few weeks ago and now this? He can only take so much before he falls apart completely. He ran hard to the fence. He tried climbing the fence but it was much more difficult with only one hand. He got a meter up the wall and then lost his grip, falling to his feet. He sprained his ankle slightly but the worst part was how tired he felt. He started to think hard now. 

 'If I can't even do the most simplest thing then how am I going to protect anyone? I'm useless now. I can't do shit!' He was sobbing while punching the dirt with his hand. He needed some kind of release. He put his back against the fence and sat there feeling defeated. He hated feeling so useless. He couldn't do anything and he knew it. 
 "Cam? Cam are you okay?" Cameron sighed he knew it was Carl. The reason he sighed was only cause he wouldn't be able to keep it all together alone with Carl. Cameron didn't even try to hide his sadness or anything. His face was blotchy and eyes were red. Carl was scared when he found Cam like that.  

 "C-Cam?" Carl spoke softly. 
 "You're lucky. You know that?" Carl was confused. He didn't think he was lucky. His father is a douche, he had to kill his own mother, his sister is dead because of him, he doesn't feel lucky.
 "I really don't think so." Cameron laughed with tears rolling down his face. 
"How so?" Cameron asked while looking at the sky. 
 "I had to kill my own mother." Cameron nodded. He didn't know why but he felt like he wasn't in control of his body or his thoughts. 
 "Yeah well you have this loving family. Your dad is so loving and overprotective but that's better than not being protective at all. You don't know how amazing you have it." Carl was getting slightly angry.
 "You don't know everything I've been through." 
"Yeah, you're right." Cameron stood up and started walking away. He was crying harder now, yet quietly. 

 "What is your problem?" Carl asked and that made Cameron stop in his tracks. 
"I-I really, really can't deal with your shit right now. I love you so goddamn much but right now I need me time. Or oh, I don't know a little empathy." Carl felt bad but a person's anger can control them and there words. 
 "My shit? Oh i'm sorry that I am such a burden."
"I didn't say that! God, Carl can you just not be so focused on yourself sometimes? Are so fucking oblivious that you can't see I'm fucking hurting?!" 
 "What is it then?! If it's so important!" They both got really quiet. Cameron started to walk away again. 

"W-Wait I'm sorry! Please, i'm bad at this. Please tell me whats wrong...." Carl said with small tears going down his face. Cam continued to walk as he said.. 
     "Nothing important."