The rays of sunlight beam actually acknowledging that the world feels alive. Just for today I guess. But for some odd reason? My memories ran through my mind like the waves of an ocean crashing against the rocks. It's a never ending period cycle I believe now, gotta get used to it somehow right.
In goes another deep breath at a leisurely pace taking in the view of the hideout me and Jake found walking in the morning when we wanted to skip. The wind in my face at the same time my thirty inch long thick hair ripple around like a dance of fire.
"Why?" I wonder sometimes?
Standing in place, my small hands grip onto the oak tree setting my view at the water.
"Why is it so hard to just, be,
NORMAL?" Normal is all I ask for!
I feel like an emotional, unemotional hotheaded freak. My shoulders inches away from my hips as I lower one knee to the floor settling myself over the tall grass. The soft touch of a flower goes through my fingers.
But I couldn't get him off my mind, Every time I hear something from him I don't wanna hear I get upset wanna break things, no, actually all the time I just wanna break things. Especially after what happened. Father was right though, I should of just left Jake alone he was better without me till I came along.
'Lizbeth shut up, please?'
What? Swirling around in my converse I wanted to run. My heart beating at the thought of his appearance, but unfortunately he wasn't there. Again.
'Great, nice games Jake! very smooth sailing.' A chuckle comes out of my mouth, my shoulders and chest felt heavy again for the millionth time gripping the roots of my hair in frustration. My heart was beginning to feel like the strumming of a electric guitar.
His long hair to a short buzz cut. His Blank canvas tan skin which turned to a story throughout his arms. God I really do miss him?
'Just stop he's a monster, it's for the best. leave it be Liz.'
I breathed in a long spiritless sigh.
RING! RING!
'Oh shit today's the last day of school!' I picked up my phone looking at the contact which was my older sister.
Sounding like father she panicked.
"Lizzy, where are you!?
"God hope, you sound like dad." Picking up my things heading my way back to the path near the house. I shook my head with a chuckle.
"God damn it your right, sorry, well I'm done getting ready meet me at the house?"
"Sure thing be right there,"
I hike my way back to the house my anxiety taking a toll of me. This is the last day of school. Wow made it though a whole year, that's great!
Taking in the chitter chatter of the animals actually calmed me down the whole walk. I'm so used to having Jake talk my ear off but that's old..
"Come on dork let's go!" A smiling hope greats me as I completed my hike back.
"Don't rush me!" My eyes rolled being told what to do. Rushing my way to her car and once settled she started the car. And off we where to another hell trip. Amazing.
The whole ride was pure silence, talk about awkward much? I could sense hope knew something was wrong. This is the 5th day I haven't been talkative, nor do I care or mind. And I was hoping she didn't realize. Maybe until now I'm assuming.
"So, Liz?" Her eyes stayed on the road for a bit then looked my way. I didn't budge looking into her gaze. I get it I look a mess, a little upset what else do you expect?
"I don't know what really happened between you guys, but it's really scaring mom and dad.."
"Oh. I'm fine, nothing happened.. Mom and Dad are worried about me? When all they do is just work, we should be the one's worried about them, Wrong or right?" Questioning her was all I could do. Shuffle it around a bit learning it from her was the best obviously.
Smiling a tad bit to brush the dust off.
"Okay don't pull a fucking me Elizabeth!" Hope hissed pulling into the drive way of the school.
"Sooner or later your going to have to tell someone you know, you can't just keep holding in what Jake did to you? That's toxic."
My anger bursted. 'Toxic' running around my head like a track race.
Are you fucking kidding me! Out of the whole family she had the worst problems. Let me not get into that.
But it was too late I already felt my anger slip out of the tip of my tongue.
" REALLY! Don't you ever, EVER, say that fucking STUPID ONE WORD to me out of EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY!" God that was all I could think, saying toxic was the worst thing she could have done out of all the conversations she could have started.
"Listen I don't care if you get mad or not, it's true. Say all the bad things about me cause I can deal with it. I lived through it, I'm trying to help you out Liz. Don't get mad at me for your stupid fucking decisions! YOU AND JAKE NEED TO QUIT IT! Your not yourself, you don't eat anymore. We hear you in that room all night screaming in your-"
"Don't tell me what to do after all, you had your fun in life. You'd rather act like mom cause she was never there for us. Go ahead. But I'm not gonna tolerate i-"
My seatbelt unbuckles as I grab my things to open the door.
"And dad was right, you should have left Jake alone his family and ours don't get-"
"GOD PLEASE SHUT UP!"
I slam her door storming my way to first period as the first bell began to ring.
15 minutes to get to class, and my day shall start... shitty due to my sister. And pervious things that happened in my life that keep coming and popping up like a ground hog. I should have just walked this morning. I groan in annoyance.
"Lizzy, hey! Hold up, wait for mee!" A familiar voice calls out for me. Not minding at all I didn't wanna transfer any negative energy to anyone it's better I just stay alone for now before I explode.
Turning down the halls I felt a slight tug on my forearm.
"I SAID LEAV-..." Turning around I stopped myself from choking a mother fucker out.
"Aye, relax..." his gaze ran over me like a hawk.
"No. I got first period. I'll see you later."
Getting out of his grip I just couldn't face him at the moment. I was already have a rough morning. I didn't wanna ruin anything else and take it all out on him. Half of it being his fault but still. Those aren't my intentions.
"Meet me at the football field at lunch?" He hollered at the top of his lungs as I was already storming through the crowd. Maybe I will maybe I won't. Why should I?
