A Living Fancy

Dreaming Over You (Pt. 2)

The next morning it was a rainy thundering day, my eyes were red from the tears & my heart was dead.

It passed away that night when Tim passed out of my life. I went into the bathroom and laid to the floor & cried.

I couldn't stress this enough, but I was devastated. Tim shattered & killed my heart. As I was on the floor I thought to myself.

" you should just kill yourself what do you have to live for?" The voices in my head grew louder and more intenser. The voices were right what did I have to live for.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, I figured a knife was the quickest way to do this. My thoughts were interrupted with a knock at the front door.

I opened it half way & peeked out. It was the woman from yesterday that was being mugged. She looked beautiful, her clothes were neat & elegant. She just was filled with rays of happiness.

Even on one of my worse days, I let her in. She just kept smiling & grinning she was so full of life. When she walked in she twirled her dress.

She had on red lipstick, and a bun in her head, her hair was long. The things she did & the things she wore she reminded me of myself.

But once she got all of my attention her expression went from tenacious to blank & enigmatic.

She said to me," Thanks for saving me back there I really did appreciate it." I nodded. I was embarrassed, I didn't want her to see my tears,hair, and my life. She looked young & I was a grown woman she was too young for my problems.

I nodded. She then continued, " That mugger wasn't a worry for me to be honest." I was confused. I fired back," if he wasn't such of worry then why were you on the floor begging for help & more obviously why did you need my help?"

She sighed & laughed before continuing," Listen, you didn't do me any favor by saving me. I would've been free eventually, I know how to handle myself, so please don't flatter yourself & think for one minute that you did something amazing by saving me and don't even think that I would give you the satisfaction of being my hero with the type of trash you really are you are a corny,broke, joke of a woman that doesn't belong in the shoes you walk in, you are a disgust."

After that I really didn't have anything to say, I simply told her," You can let yourself out." She grabbed her purse off the counter & walked out.

I wasn't pleased by my actions by letting her have the upper hand in this battle, but I have had enough.

I decided to take a warm bath, I needed time to relax. Some time to take my mind off of my mistakes and to focus on finding myself, when I was inside the bath, I felt lost in the oceans of my mistakes I was sitting on them and they were circling around me reminding me of all my errors & my wrongs I had ever done.

This bath wasn't relaxing it was hell, My reality engulfed my dreams, pride, and me as a woman. I was lost in the sea of my own life.

I couldn't take it, I went under.