Deadroses {A Pete Wentz x Reader Story}

Chapter Two: Out Loud

(The song is about loss and I also love Gabbie, also warning this chapter gets really depressing and will include self harm)

(Your POV)

I wake up at around 10:30 and rub my eyes, as they're still slightly sore from all the crying. I put on a sports bra and shorts on before I leave my room and walk downstairs, seeing my little cousins playing on the floor with their toys. My aunt and uncle have already left for work, leaving a note on the fridge tha the kids wanna go to the park today.

I sigh and grab my phone, texting (y/b/f/n) (your best friends name) to come over. "Cousin (y/n)!" Riley says behind me. "Yes Ry?" I plaster on a fake smile and turn around to her. "When can we go to the park?" she asks me, smiling widely. I think for a second and see (y/b/f/n) texted me back and she said she'd be here in 5.

"Uhh I'd say in about 15 to twenty minutes" I say uncertainly and look at Riley, she just nodded and walked off, continuing to play with her Barbie's.

I go upstairs and slide on a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, a Marilyn Manson shirt, a black and white flannel around my waist, and I slide on some checkered vans.

I go over to my vanity and smear on some eyeliner and some black eyeshadow. I grab my mini black backpack and trudge down the stairs.

I sit on the couch and (y/b/f/n) texts me that she's here. I smile to myself and shout for her to come in. She flashes a smile at me, she's basically the softer version of me because she loves Panic! At The Disco and Paramore. She was wearing a Paramore shirt and light wash Jean shorts.

"So (y/n are we going to the park or not?" she giggles and picks up Mason.
"Duh! Let's go idiots!" I say laughing and Riley pouts, "Im not and idiot!" I just roll my eyes and grab my car keys and walk out the door.

"Okay so do we wanna get breakfast now and have lunch later, or get some snacks and eat lunch when we leave the park?" I turn around and look at Mason and Riley who say in unison"Lets get lunch when we leave!!" I just laugh and nod.

I turn on my car and my From Under The Cork Tree CD starts blasting. I embarrassingly turn it down and (y/b/f/n) sighs and rolls her eyes sarcastically, "Ah, classic (y/n)". I turn my head and look at her "Shut the fuck up (y/b/f/n)!" I burst out laughing and completely forget I have two small children in the car.

(Y/b/f/n) dramatically gasps, "(Y/n)! Language!" she giggles at me and I roll my eyes. "Yeah whatever!" I pull out of my driveway and go to a Casey's and tell the kids to pick out some snacks.

~le time skip because I'm lazy~

I park my car in the parking lot at the park and immediately Riley and Mason get out of the car and run to the playground.

(Y/b/f/n) and I sit on a park bench to keep and eye on those two. "Soooo I might've gotten two Fall Out Boy tickets" I tell (y/b/f/n) and she squeals. "Oh my gosh (y/n) you shouldn't have!" (she also loves fob too). I just laugh to myself and she giggles, "Whens the concert?!". I think back and remember the date "September 1st..so just after school starts" I smile at her and she smiles even bigger.

~another time skip~

I walk in the door and ask (y/b/f/n) "Hey hoe can you stay here with me?”. “Yeah slut” she giggles and doesn't worry about "bad words" because the kids were in the living room watching some TV. “We can just watch movies until 8 and then we can go when they're asleep” she nods and we go to the living room.

“Do you two wanna watch movies?" I ask Mason and Riley and they nod. “Lets watch the Incredibles!!” Mason squeals and I laugh and grab the DVD. I put it in and we gather onto the couch.

~another time skip~

(Y/b/f/n) and i put the kids to bed and we say our goodbyes. “I have to go (y/n) I have a curfew!” she giggles and we hug. “I love you (y/n) see you later” “Love you too.." she leaves and I wave.

(It's gonna get really depressing so trigger warning!!)

I head upstairs and see family photos on the wall. I see me, my sister, mom, aunt, uncle, Riley (Mason wasn't alive yet), and my grandparents. I sigh and feel some tears trickle down my face. I look more on the wall and see more and more family photos. I cry some more and rush into the bathroom.

I see my eyeliner running down my face and I grab grip on to the sink. “I..miss them so much..” I choke out and I grip the sink so hard my knuckles turn white.

My crying gets worse and I look at my razor in the shower. I think about my descions and grab it. I slowly take it apart and my tears get more intense. I shouldn't do this but the razor was practically calling me. I get the blades and take off my jeans.

My crying calms down some but it's still bad, my black tinted tears drip onto my thighs and I sit on the side of the sink. I drag the blade across my inner thighs.. deeply. The red liquid runs out like water when a dam breaks. I make more and more lines across both of my thighs.

Not satisfied yet I pull up my shirt some and cry at my stomach (you're gonna be slightly chubby in this story..sorry). I hate my body so much, all the girls at school are so skinny and beautiful..I'm fat and ugly. “You look fucking disgusting (y/n)..” I growl at myself and draw more lines into my stomach and sob some more.

Finally..I'm satisfied. I can't even cry more, I've cried out all my tears and I can do nothing but scream on the inside...

I see all the blood covering my body and floor and finally snap out. “Oh my God what have I done!” I sigh and clean up myself and the floor.

I grab my pants and leave the bathroom, feeling some small tears welling up in my eyes.

I take off my bra and change into one of my dad's old Slayer shirts. I lay down in my bed and cry and cry until I fall asleep in a puddle of my own tears...

A/N// Wow I'm sorry that was depressing..but it will get better and don't worry Pete will be involved soon!!