Why can't i just tell him!

The few days left before he leaves

The wooden lounge chair I was on was rapidly warming up. Placing the clear strawberry bowl on the mahogany seat, I stood up and walked over to Harry.

“Hey Styles, you want to swim?” I casually asked, walking past him to go grab my bikini. He ignored me and I frowned, before putting it off to him not hearing me. Returning to my bag in Harry’s room, which was upstairs and to the right, I fished out my bikini and put it on. All black, it accentuated my tan and curves. Grabbing a spare towel from the bathroom, I ventured back outside after quickly popping into Gemma Style’s room to say hi. The sun greeted me and I saw the pool calling. I asked the other boys if they wanted to join me but they all said a little later. I nodded and jumped into the pool, revelling in the cool sensation that surrounded me.

Finally, after doing a few laps and just enjoying the coolness, I dragged myself out and went and got Harry. It wasn’t that we were fighting or anything, we just hadn’t spoken properly for several days now. In fact, our last uninterrupted conversation had been the one on the train. I loved the other boys, but Harry was my favourite, my best friend, I had to find him. I discovered him and Louis sitting on the veranda, talking about a girl named “Hannah”. My curiosity peaked, but I saved it for another day. Excusing Harry, I pulled him with me, stripping off his shirt at the same time. Ensuring his phone was out of his pocket, I pushed him into the pool.

He laughed. His first genuine laugh with me in a few days, I enjoyed it immensely, jumping in after him and positioning myself on his back. Harry grabbed my legs, holding me in position. His warm skin was a stark contrast to the cool water that surrounded my skin. He dropped me in the water and I squealed. When I regained momentum, I broke the surface of the water and found that Harry had left. I frowned.

He returned several moments later, with the rest of the boys and set up a game of volleyball. I enjoyed it plenty yet in the back of my mind, I wondered if it would always be like this for now on. I wondered if my time with Harry was limited and I wondered if everything we did from now on had to be done as a group. As much as I hated to contemplate it, I wondered if my friendship with Harry would last. Truthfully, I missed him already even though at that particular moment he stood a mere metre away from me.

~Harrys POV~    why do i have to be so stupid,why do i have to be totally and completely in love with my best friend.I know she will never feel the same way , i feel like i am being so mean to her,its like she is fighting for my attention.   ~Taylors POV~  

“Oh my god, Louis! You’re going to burn the sausages!” I cried, sprinting over to Louis who was making funny faces at me whilst casually guarding the sausages. Laughing in hysterics, I hip bumped him and shoved him over, taking control.

“The woman in the kitchen, no surprise there.” The end of my spatula quickly made contact with Louis’ head and in an attempt to prove myself, I called Zayn over and forced him and his skills to cook with.

“Hey Taylor, you know, I was doing a perfectly fine job with the sausages,” Louis pouted, poking my stomach lightly.

“Look at this burnt sausage! Who in their right mind would eat that?” I shoved the charcoal covered item of food in his face, still chuckling. He took a bite out of it and I let go, squealing in disgust.

The atmosphere was comfortable, the warm day of relaxing had easily transformed into a fun-filled evening. The heat had accompanied us and we were all still in our swimming bathers. The sun hadn’t quite set yet. The scene was serene and the boys were lazing around at various spots in the backyard. Harry’s family had also joined the impromptu dinner. Taking a cooked sausage out from under Zayn’s guard, I placed it in the bread and squirted as much tomato sauce onto it as I could. Grabbing my grey cardigan from the lounge chair, I put it on, covering my black bikini.

“Is the sausage good?” Zayn bellowed from across the yard as I made my way over to Harry, who had his feet dipped in the pool. I nodded and gave him the thumbs up, which ignited a smile on his face. The fact that the group had so easily gelled was amazing and I knew that no matter what happened in the upcoming weeks, I would remain in contact with all the band members.

I licked my sauce covered fingers and sat myself next to Harry, whose attention was focused on a leaf that was floating on the calm surface of the water. The volleyball that we had been playing with earlier was sitting in the shallow end of the pool. My fingers drummed the bricks beside me and I hummed to myself for a moment, not entirely sure how to start the conversation. In the end, I just went for it.

“Harry, are you avoiding me?” He started, apparently unaware of my presence. His blue eyes met mine and they seemed distant, as if in another world.

“Avoiding you?” I nodded. He stared.

“Harry! Your dinner is ready,” Gemma beckoned, calling him over. He glanced over his shoulder before looking back at me and shrugging apologetically. Remorse didn’t seem to be present in his response. He left me and I groaned annoyed.

Every time I had tried to spend time with him that day, he had just ignored me, leaving me to wallow in self pity. I didn’t understand what was going on, his suddenly distant behaviour was confusing me. Being my best friend, I thought that he meant it when he said that he would “always be there for me”. So why was he acting so removed? I splashed my feet in the water immaturely, pouting about his odd attitude towards me.

The boys went to the local ice cream store so me and harry where alone "harry whats wrong ?" "i knew you would wait until the boys where gone to ask me"my phone vibrated i looked at it and it was from Louis

hey,what flaovour should i get,whats the best ?xxx i text back vanilla, by far xxx

"who was that?" "it was Louis" "that it" "that's what?" "thats whats wrong" "Louis?" "no, how any of the boys can get your attention but me.I am jealous" “Jealous? What the fuck? Why?” "because you are they interest you and make you smile"

“Harry, you’re my best friend. I love you more than anything and you can do all those things so easily too!” I tried to reassure him, but my brain was going haywire. He’d never had any of these worries or niggling doubts with any of my other potential boyfriends.

He continued to stare at the ground, unable to get the words out. Finally, when he had plucked up the courage, he continued.  

“Tay, I’m scared. I’m scared you’re going to fall in love with one of them and abandon me. I’m scared that you’ll love them more than me,” he choked out, his voice muffled from the arms holding up his head

“Harry,” I said, lifting his head up so our eyes met, “you’re my best friend. You will, forever, be my best friend. No boy will come in between that because I love you more than anything. You’re family.”

“I know,” he replied. “But what about when you go into a serious relationship ? This is the first time you have token a liking to that you’ve liked with who I’m confident you will last…that’s what scares me. I’m going to come second, Tay. You’re going to forget about me!”

“Harry, you are my brother. I love you to death and I promise, right here and right now, that I will let nothing come between us. All our phone conversations, all our secret spots like that café we discovered, all our jokes, they’re ours, Harry. Nobody can take that away from us…I love you.” I finished my mini speech and launched myself at him. Forcing his arms open, I sat down on top of him, wrapping his arms around my body. He held me tightly despite any worries or doubts that still plagued his mind.

I hugged him as closely as I could, wordlessly conveying how much he meant to me. I felt him whisper into my hair.

“Promise me that you’ll never forget me…” he said.

“I promise.” My eyes closed, I let my body language do the talking. I knew that his worries were legit because even I could feel it

if only he knew how i really felt about him....