Love on the Brain

Down in the Dumps .

August POV

Saturday, November 28, 2016

I told Desire I was taking her out tonight and I had every intention but, I was feeling really down all of a sudden. I had been thinking ab Ava's mama , my own mama who I hadn't seen in 8 years , a father who I never knew, siblings I had never met, not having a college degree , and not having a real job. I really wanted to take care of Ava in the best way possible , and Desire wasn't just any woman. She deserved the best .. & that just wasn't me right now.

I decided to give her a call.

After about three rings she answered .

"Hello" she answered groggily

- GoodMorning sleepy head

- Oh GoodMorning August !

- sorry if I disturbed your sleep

-oh no no , I probably needed to be up anyways.

-oh okay , well I was calling to talk about our date tonight , I won't be able to make it I'm sorry

- oh it's okay .. is there something wrong ?

- uhh nah I'm just not feeling the best that's all

-oh okay .. well maybe another time , I really hate I won't get to see you but I understand

- me too D , but I promise I'll make it up to you .

- you better , but okay .

- ight catch you lata baby

- bye aug

End of phone conversation

I really want to get myself together for her and of course my daughter. I guess I thought just bc these small jobs were taking care of my daughter that I was straight but I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I wanna make something of myself . Something that my mama would be proud of .

My dad was never there for me . My mama use to tell me he left when I was just a day old. I wouldn't know my daddy if he was staring me in the face . She said he left because he wasn't ready for responsibilities and heavy on drugs . She always took up for him but why I'm not sure. In my life eyes he wasn't shit. I don't need nobody that don't want me.

My mama tho , she was the best person in my life , even with all the major problems she had. But all of that changed when I was about 16 years old.

Flashback

January 23, 2008

"August ! Come down here for a minute baby !"

Man ma always calling me .

I took my time coming downstairs because I was sleepy .

"Ma'am ?"

"I'm leaving to see my dad in Cleveland tomorrow for about a week and a half so you'll be here by yourself for a few days."