i'm sick || tododeku

🌸 i'm not afraid

a/n: hiii guys im soso sorry for not updating for a while!! i went to england for 2 weeks and i didn't really have time. however, logging into wattpad today and seeing how many views and votes ive gotten on this story really means the world to me. thank you so much for supporting this story!! pls don't forget to vote because i spend a long time on each chapter and it really helps me out.

also does anyone like bts here?? their comeback; idol was so freaking goood and their album love yourself - answer ughhh 😫 i recommend you guys check it out ♡

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Midoriya's eyes drooped open slowly. His blurred vision saw a tall figure beside him. Confused and disorientated, Midoriya quickly rubbed his eyes as his vision adjusted. 

He recognised him instantly - Todoroki. It was Todoroki. He was sitting on his bed, watching over him as he slept.

But he didn't scream out in fear. He didn't jump up, to try and fight. In fact he wasn't quite sure what he did. He just sat up and looked up at Todoroki. Todoroki smiled softly at Midoriya, before his eyes drifted away, unable to maintain eye contact. Izuku realised that this wasn't a dream, it all felt too real. He tried to get out of bed, but to no avail. He felt like he physically could not move his body. As much as he wanted to get out of the bed, defeat this villain and never have to see him again, another part of him felt comforted, just gazing into his eyes. It all felt so wrong - yet so right at the same time. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you??!" he wanted to yell. "What happened last night?? Why the fuck did you try to kill me, you psychopath??" he wanted to scream. But instead, all that came out was a quiet "why...?"

"Izuku Midoriya." Todoroki said.

"Why do you know my name.."

"Look, this is really hard to explain. To put it simply - I'm a psychopath. Ever since I saw you at the coffee shop; i don't know... I just.." He muttered softly.

Midoriya looked up at him with those bright green, adorning eyes. Todoroki felt the overwhelming emotions take him over his mind once again. He shook his head, trying not to let it show. 

"I'm sorry. Did I do something?" Midoriya squeaked. The same exact line he had said at the coffee shop. 

That was when Todoroki felt himself spiralling out of control. 

"Midoriya. Do you know just what you have put me through?" he growled under his breath. 

"Don't you understand?!" he stood up and began to raise his voice.

Scared and confused, Izuku looked up at the beautiful man that towered above him. 

"You're all I've been able to think about since that day at the coffee shop. Every time I think of you I go insane. That dammed smile you gave me, it won't leave my mind. I can't explain it and I don't know why but.. You are destroying me. No-one has ever made me feel this way before.  And thats why I need to kill you." 

Izuku's mind was brimming with questions. Why was this villain trying to kill him? And if he was, why didn't he just kill him last night? Why did he wake up next to him? And why wasn't Izuku able to get up, and just kick his ass? Surely he would have been able to do something, anything if it had been anyone else. But for some reason, he felt so trapped. Trapped in this man's presence. What a coward he was.

But most importantly, who really was this man. Who was Todoroki Shouto?

Midoriya wouldn't let himself be so weak and vulnerable for any longer. It reminded him of the version of himself before he had inherited One for all from All Might, that worthless weakling . It made him sick. 

"What's wrong with you? You saw me once and now you want to kill me? What the fuck is wrong with you?" He blurted out. 

Todoroki's body shook with rage as he clenched his fist around the knife in his hand. 

"Oh, and you still have that knife? What, were you too scared to kill me yesterday?" Midoriya spat, a sudden anger overtaking his body. What did this damn psycho want with him?

Todoroki dropped his knife to the ground, causing a loud clacking sound to fill the room. He buried his head in his hands. Midoriya watched as endless tears poured from his eyes. He no longer saw a ruthless killer, but a broken boy. 

"You don't understand. You never will. No-one ever will." Todoroki spoke softly. "I'm sick!! This war with my mind won't end until.. you're gone.."

Midoriya didn't understand. He didn't think he could ever fully understand him. But he knew that this kid had been through hell and back. There was always a reason for everything. He had researched this throughly, the psychology behind why villains act the way they do. They usually had been through something awful that messed them up. And.. something in him felt sympathy for the broken soul. After seeing just what he was capable of, he knew that this boy held unfathomable power and potential; and perhaps if he had grown up in a different environment, he could have been something great for society. 

Without a second thought, Midoriya wrapped his arms tight around Todoroki's chest. Todoroki's mind went blank, his ability to think out the window. He didn't know whether to pull away from the hug or to just embrace it. The last hug he had ever gotten had been from his beloved mother, so many years ago. To think that this boy had been so deprived of love and affection that he didn't even know what to do when somebody hugged him. 

But as a tear rolled down his cheek, he smiled to himself. Not how he smiled when he spotted his next victim. Not his fucked up smile he did when he killed. But a genuine, smile. Because in that moment he felt truly happy for the first time in years.

"I-i don't.." He stammered

Midoriya smiled. "I don't know what I'm doing. I mean - you're a bad person. You kill people. The total opposite of what I'm all about. But.. I guess I just feel different with you. I can't explain it. I-i believe that everyone deserves love. B-because, well, anyone could end up in a bad situation. But, there can always be someone to help them out of that dark place... I don't know.." he mumbled. 

They stood in silence for what felt like forever before Midoriya pulled away, his face flushed a deep pink, before he ran for the door. 

a/n: sorry if this chapter was kinda lacking in character, i have school tomorrow, im pretty stressed and i didn't really plan this one out properly. promise it will get better ! - K ♡