Am I Good Enough Yet?

chapter 5

The kiss lasted for 2 mins but all i could keep thinking was isnt Benji supposed to be gay. When the kiss ends he laughs and im sitting there looing confused, he knows everything that has happened and yet he kisses me? WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!! Benji has a twin brother called Joel they are both dreamy as but Benji is supposed to be gay and my bestfriend. I hear my phone buzzing so i get up and run to it, Benji still hasnt said anything to me so i didnt say anything to him.

Once i get to my phone i see a notification saying 'you have recieved 3 new questions' they say: "why are you still alive", "no one wants you here" and "kill yourself". I walk back to the bed and Benji asks what is wrong so i give him my phone and show him, he gives me a big hug and i burst into tears. With the kiss from Benji and just being with him i had forgotten that everybody hated me.

Mum knocks on my door and i yell "come in" she walks in and sits next to me and Benji she says "Summer do u have anything to tell me?" i look at Benji and he gives me the look as in to say tell her now, so i spill everything out and i tell her. Her eyes start to tear up and she reaches over and kisses my cheek. She seems very suprised about Arizona and Katie being complete bitches.

Its the next morning and im supposed to be going to school but mum didnt wake me up so i decide to roll over and go back to sleep until i hear knocking on the door. I get up and walk down the stairs the person kept knocking and knocking gosh people have no patience at 8:30 in the morning. I open the door to find Benji standing there with a bunch of flowers and chocolate. I welcome him in i mean how couldnt i he has flowers and chcolate.

When we get to my room i put the flowers in a vase and place the chocolate on my bedisde table. We havent exactly spoken about the kiss yet but i feel now is a good time. I ask him all different questions and he answers every single one, he says he stopped being gay a year ago when he got a girlfriend but they broke up cause she was a bitch.

After about an hour of question asking we decide to go grab lunch. We go to mcdonalds cause that is my favourite place to eat. I havent gotten any hurtful messages or questons so im pretty happy about that. After we finish lunch we go back to my house, having Benji by my side through all this shit means alot to me. We get back to my house and my heart drops when i see who is sitting at my front door, its Arizona. Why is she here?

When she sees me and Benji together she seems confused, i tell Benji to go inside and ill be there soon. I walk up to Arizona and i ask "what do u want, have u not relised how much damage u have done to me" she answers back with " i know i need to talk to u before any more damage accurs", im very confused but after 10 minutes it all makes sense. Danielle is trying to get me and Benji to fight well darling thats not going to happen. I tell Arizona thanks and she leaves.

I walk in the door and Benji asks if im okay i tell him everything. He seems upset cause he knows i will believe literally anything and everything. I assure him that everything will be okay. We watch a movie and i fall asleep. When i wake up Benji is on my phone i roll over and say "what are you doing" he says " oh u got a message from Danielle u may want to read it" my stomach drops when i read it, it says "no body likes u not even Benji he is using u" i look up at Benji and ask if this is true, he says no of course not i love u with all my heart i could never do that especially to u.

Benji decides to sleep over which im happy about i love his company it makes me happy. My cuts are starting to scar but i know i will never do it again. When Benji and I wake up he has a suprise for me he made me pancakes. As i am eating them he turns my face to him and asks me: "Summer will you go out with me i love you with all my heart and i want to take care of you" i scream "YES"!  I am extremely happy with this and it was very unexpected.