Am I Good Enough Yet?

Chapter 7

Im sitting in my bedroom looking at my thighs with tears dropping onto them and they are all shred to pieces. All i keep thinking is 'could Benji of done this to me or is it a big joke?' but because its me i always think the worst out of things. Im not exactly heartbroken because me and Benji had only been dating for a week and a bit but i was hurt that he had done this to me we had been bestfriends since kindergarten and we are now in yr 9. I tried to get in touch with Benji but it was no luck he wouldnt answer my txts, he was ignoring my calls i did think about going to his house but i wouldnt be able to bring myself to do that.

I decided to watch a movie but i fell asleep. I woke up from the sound of my phone buzzing it was Katie: Summer please answer this. Me: yeh whats up? Katie: can i come over? Me: yeh sure. Within 5 mins she was here, she burst threw the door and hugged me so tight i could barley breath. Her hand brushed against my wrist and i flinched she didnt notice though.

I never asked her why she was here but she stayed for dinner and mum was fine with that. We decided to watch movies and eat popcorn. I soon fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with tears rolling down my face, i kept thinking why Benji didnt just brake up with me. I ran to the bathroom trying to be as quiet as i could once i got there i closed the door and started scattering through the draws for my blade i couldnt find it so i found a razor and broke the blade out of it. I placed the blade on my wrist and slid across at this point tears were flowing out of my eyes. I did another few slices and i was finished.

But not exactly fully finished i walked quietly down stairs and raded the cupboards and found a bottle of pills i opened them and tipped some in my hand, was this really the night i was going to do this all because of some stupid boy and a bitch of a girl? Katie was still upstairs sleeping but that didnt stop me i hadnt heard from her in weeks and she just decides to show up again? I put each pill on my tongue and swallow... was this the end?

I faintly heard Katie walk down the stairs and she found me and started screaming and shaking me, mum heard and ran downstairs but was there anything left to do or was i gone...?