Three Weeks With You

Chapter Seventeen: Maddison

Christmas was magical. 
The snow never falls on Christmas morning but we did manage to make snow men and slide around on the rolling hills near our house, from the snow that fell the whole week prior.
Our family had a huge feast and our cousins and Grandparents came to visit. We had plenty of hot food, wine and indoor games. 
I called Ethan throughout the holiday season, we were both in good spirits and described our Christmas to each other.
"Your lucky it snows where you are. We are just uncomfortably cold."
I laugh, his face on Skype looks so cute in a colourful Christmas, Knit sweater. Apparently his Great Aunt makes them by hand and sends them to all her grandchildren and Grandnephews/nieces. She was visiting so Ethan's Mum made them all wear it.
I think he looked adorable and told him so.
His face burst into laughter and his face screwed up into a confused emotion.
"Really?" 
"Yes, I think you look very cute. All you need now is a knitted hat and scarf." I grin.
He rolls his eyes and snorts. 
"Hey I made you another playlist, it should come in the mail with your Christmas present" 
I raised an eyebrow. 
"Sorry it's a bit late, but better late than never?"
"No, I don't mind that it's late, I just wasn't expecting that. I didn't get you anything." I bit my lip, slowly cracking into a smile.
"What?"
"Nothing" I said.
"Why are you being all mischievous" He glared playfully.
I had sent him a gift containing a framed photograph of us, one of my cute pairs of underwear, with a letter and sweets.
I giggled. Decided to leave him confused.
"Okay, bye babe! Nice chat. Thank you for the mix-tape and present, I can't wait to open it. Love you and Merry Christmas!" I smile and wave goodbye.
"Maddison. Wait."
I look at him patiently.
"Talk soon?" He asks, and looks suddenly scared.
Oh dear, that's not what I intended.
"Of course." I said sincerely.
He looked relieved and grinned.
"I love you" I whispered.
"I love you" He whispered back and kissed his two fingers and then placed it onto the camera, blocking him from my view.
The video ended.
My smile faltered. Skype. Fucking Skype.
I put another one of his mix-tapes that he had sent me a few weeks ago. I played it in my old stereo. It was filled with good jams, deep lyrics and heartfelt moments.
Many John Mayer tracks and songs about distance and love and hurt. 
I missed him with every fiber in my body and the music seemed to calm me by expressing all that I was feeling through sound. It eased my full emotions.

This year really has flown by but I am so excited for the new year.
2019 is going to bring Ethan and I together. I can feel it.
We will be finishing school, still have to figure out what we are doing for our leavers Prom.

I have some ideas of surprising him in Santa Cruz.

I haven't seen him physically since our summer together and we are both feeling frustrated.
We keep planning to come and visit but something always crops up or we have to spend the money on something else.
One night when we had finished talking to each other, I couldn't take it any longer and screamed into my pillow and angry cried all my way to my favourite tree. The night was freezing but I sat there looking up at the stars, until I felt better.
The summer felt like years away.
I listed things that I was grateful for and realized there was so much. My friends, my family, my home, having the summer with Ethan. Meeting Ethan. He helped me come into myself more and I learnt so much about myself and love. 
I am grateful for my upbringing, this beautiful farm will always have a place in my heart. I know the hills, the people, the animals and streets so well. 
I am grateful for my job, allowing me to save a little bit of money. It's slowly growing.
A little bit got eaten out of my saving when I bought Christmas presents but I have more shifts over this winter break so I should be able to build it back up again.
I breathe my feelings to the stars and the baby cradle moon. Its white light looked beautiful tonight.
I think back to when Ethan and I sat in the very tree together, listening to my ipod and cuddling.
I decided to back inside, I could see my breath, it was freezing.

My friends and I were going to hang out in a few days time and have a sleep over, then the next day we are going to a New Year's party.
I do love this time of year.

I send a snap to Ethan, from my tree and write the text:
"Wish you were here"